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 Beyond
the Icarus Factor: Releasing the Free Spirit in Boys
by Richard Hawley
(Park Street Press, 2008, soft cover, $14.95. See www.ParkStPress.com
for more.)
Years
ago, I attended a wilderness awareness workshop. They broke us
into eight-person teams. My team included three women, one of
whom was quiet and proper. Towards the end of the training we
were problem-solving a difficult task. Into our frustrated
silence, this woman exclaimed, “Well, I think we ought to go
blow shit up!” Our laughter lasted a long time, for she had
captured—with wild incongruity—the essence of us boys.
Richard
Hawley, who worked for decades as headmaster of a prep school,
calls attention to this spirit using the Jungian term ‘puer’:
the dreamy, adventurous, untamed, even violent nature of all
boys. We’ve studied it, pathologized it, medicated it,
punished it, and, Hawley asserts, those boys who have become
successful adults have lost it. Left unbroken, the puer-spirit
leads to Dionysian excess; however, once suppressed, the lack of
puer-spirit produces depression and anger. It seems a no win
either way.
In
truth, this issue predates the myth of Icarus, Hawley’s model,
but was a crucial teaching in ancient Greece. Icarus refused
Reason (don’t fly too close to the sun or it will melt the wax
holding the wings together), in favor of Emotion (seize the
chance to fly to Heaven).
Even so,
the duality of Reason versus Nature called for a unifying
Oneness; otherwise, the battle between mind and body, wisdom and
appetite, reason and impulse would continue unabated. The Greeks
didn’t solve the problem—nor has any society to this day
done so. Hawley details the current state on the battlefield
with numerous case histories and examples. He draws, too, from
psychology, philosophy, poetry and literature. He makes us feel
the essence of puer-spirit as both a wonder and a tragedy.
Hawley’s
attempt to collapse this enduring polarity is through
‘witnessing’ the puer-spirit into maturity. He notes,
“Perhaps more than therapies and self-help schemes we need an
unflinching witness to
boy-spirit as it is, including an acknowledgment of its
beauty….To acknowledge the existential value
of the puer is the first step in realizing the tragic enormity
of snuffing it out.”
When we
as a society shift our focus to witnessing puer-spirit, Hawley
predicts, “Boys who are loved and safe, boys who are witnessed
rather than guided or shaped, are neither fearful or
fearsome.”
I do not
find his resolution compelling, but it’s important as a
prerequisite to a more comprehensive solution. Polarities are
collapsed not by attending to one element in the duality. Body
and mind cannot ever be at peace without the mediating context
of spirit. Hawley hints at this, but doesn’t make the case.
With
this sole caveat, I would recommend this book to those alarmed
adults who suspect the problem of boys is one society created.
~
Review by Bruce Bibee
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Pregnancy
& Childbirth Secrets
by Gail J. Dahl
(Innovative Publishing, 2007, soft cover, $19.95. See http://web.mac.com/pregnancysecrets
for more.)
At one
time or another we all have a desire to know ‘the secret’ to
something. We long to know the best way to do certain things.
However, no information could be more important and more life
altering than understanding the secret to having a gentle, safe
and satisfying pregnancy and birth experience.
Gail J.
Dahl, a mother, researcher, educator and advocate for safe and
gentle childbirth, has done exactly that by providing a thorough
guide for parents in her new book. With valuable information
from mothers, top childbirth experts and researchers, the book
is packed full of resources and tips to help you feel informed
and supported.
In
recognizing the importance of pre-conception education, Dahl
presents advice from experts about miscarriage and fertility
issues in the first chapter. She goes on to explain what to
expect in pregnancy from month to month. She offers practical,
healthy and natural approaches to discomforts in pregnancy such
as morning sickness, constipation and heartburn. She encourages
women to understand the wonderful hormonal blueprint for labor
and how to protect the balance so that birth can proceed easily,
safely and joyously.
Dahl
also covers diverse topics—from exercise and sex in pregnancy
to Cesarean Section. She shares information on how to manage the
fear of labor, along with ways to avoid episiotomy and tears.
Also covered is the issue of induction (when is it really
necessary and when is it not?) and some excellent information on
optimal fetal positioning to encourage a more comfortable,
easier birth. Additional topics include how to breastfeed,
childcare consideration, adjustment for siblings, and a
partner’s role in childbirth and parenting. Further still,
Dahl explores the secrets of baby language and what those cries
really mean. This information is a dream in itself!
Dahl
founded the Canadian Childbirth Association to provide
pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and newborn care
educational kits to young women and men that could be presented
to the existing educational system. As she notes, a small
percentage of couples actually attend prenatal classes. Even if
they do attend, educating at the prenatal level is often too
late. The time to educate is before a woman is pregnant—before
fears surrounding childbirth become present.
I definitely agree. And reading this book is a positive
step in that direction.
~
Review by Joan Koval,
a certified nurse-midwife with 25 years experience. She is also a HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator and
Hypnotherapist.
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 Taking Charge of Your Fertility:
The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy
Achievement, and Reproductive Health
Toni Weschler
(Collins, 2006; soft-cover with CD, $24.95)
This is the tenth anniversary edition of health educator Toni
Weschler’s best selling book on everything you need to know
about fertility. A definitive guide it is, covering
everything from the basics of women’s reproductive health to the
mysteries of PMS and the power of menopause. The main focus,
however, is about pregnancy: how to get pregnant, how not to get
pregnant, how to maximize your chances for a healthy pregnancy,
and what to do once you are pregnant.
What I like most about this very informative text is how easy it
is to understand—and how funny the author is at times. Toni has
a down to earth, helpful way of writing that inspires confidence
in her reader. It’s as if she’s pushed little nudges of
encouragement between the lines: Yes, you can do this! I
loved how she used both medical diagrams and color photos as
well as comic strips to complement her material. As Toni notes,
“None of us are Barbie dolls,” and I appreciated this, too: how
she speaks to a wide variety of women with different situations
in different times of their lives. Many stories are also shared,
which help us connect medical issues to real life situations.
The CD offers a short trial to personalize your fertility chart
and calendar, which may be helpful to some. However, you can do
this yourself and it is well explained in the chapters. Overall,
everything you need to know (and more!) is easily available
within this wonderfully written, well organized and very
comprehensive book.
~ Review by Keila Swan
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 The Art of
Giving Birth — With Chanting, Breathing, and Movement
Frederick LeBoyer
(Healing Arts Press, 2009; soft-cover with CD, $16.95)
Retired obstetrician and founder of the gentle birth movement,
Frederick LeBoyer challenged—and changed—prevailing ideas about
awareness in newborns with his groundbreaking book Birth Without
Violence. While that book looked at birth from the baby’s point
of view, The Art of Giving Birth explores birth from the
mother’s perspective.
LeBoyer is a clear advocate for embracing birth as the natural
process that it is—one that need not be stressful for either
mother or child. Babies can be born joyfully, without suffering,
Dr. LeBoyer emphasizes. To help women release the fearful
expectations that often surround birth in the modern world, to
help them center to a place of inner peace, LeBoyer suggests
breathing, singing, chanting and fluid movement exercises that
allow the body to open and flow naturally. Via the CD he also
includes musical components via voice tones and the tranquil
sounds of the stringed tambura that may be incorporated
throughout pregnancy and during labor.
LeBoyer’s writing is simple yet direct, supportive and
encouraging. The book includes letters from women all over the
world and his thoughtful answers to them; it also provides basic
instructions along with photos of how to perform the various
exercises. Mostly, though, reading this book is like feeling the
warm hand of a physician who truly cares about babies, about
mothers and fathers, and about changing the world—one peaceful,
heartfelt, joyful birth at a time.
~ Keila Swan
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 Pregnant in
America — A Nation’s Miscarriage
Steve Buonaugurio
(Intention Media, 2008; DVD, $24.95 ~ See
www.pregnantinamerica.com for more)
When filmmaker Steve Buonaugurio and his wife Mandy were
expecting a baby, they wanted to have natural childbirth at
home. Shocked by the ‘McDonaldization’ of the American maternity
system—which often dictates where and how and when you must have
your baby—Buonaugurio began interviewing women about their
experiences with hospitals, doctors and insurance companies.
It’s interesting to see the range of beliefs represented here,
and just how many women give up their power at what is
potentially the most powerful moment of their lives. The film
also includes interviews with physicians and healthcare workers
who are working to make a difference in empowering women in
birth and returning our current national rate of C-sections from
a staggering 30% (a full 15% more than recommended by the World
Health Organization!) back to our 1970s rate of only 7%.
The film takes a serious look at why this enormous increase in
C-sections has occurred and how birth has become something
unnatural—something that entails routine epidurals,
episiotomies, strong (and often toxic) medications that affect
both mother and child, and obscenely bloated insurance costs.
Yes, some of the material this film presents is shocking and
maddening, and some of the women’s stories are sad and scary.
But the film is also heartwarming and hopeful. We see the
enormous value of good midwives and doulas; the compassionate
care that some doctors do offer, even when threatened by
hospital rules and insurance companies; and the outcome of the
Buonaugurio’s birthing process, which involves both home and
hospital. In short, this is a well done documentary that will
inspire, educate and encourage.
~ Keila Swan
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