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Emotional
Intelligence
by Arpana Greenwood
Joy and
pain, laughter and tears, nature works in paradoxical ways.
One side can't exist without the other. |
Emotions make our life
rich and full. They are powerful forces within that drive us and
determine how we feel. If a person recognizes them and expresses them,
it usually results in feeling good. Often, though, our emotions are
inhibited and hidden. They boil, whirl or scream in unconscious ways
inside of us and make us respond or act inappropriately, unhealthily
-- the result is feeling bad.
There are times I may act tight and stiff, but really would like to
make contact with someone. Behind my inhibition might be old shame. I
am not able to identify or feel these uncomfortable feelings, but I
tense my facial muscles, which makes me appear closed off. There are
times when the place above my heart feels tense and painful. I feel
bad and just don't know what is going on. I spend many hours
procrastinating. What is really going on underneath is deep sadness. I
am melancholy about some part of my life and feel like crying. I sit
at home, entertaining frustrating thoughts, eating more than I need. A
layer deeper, I feel angry about how a friend acted towards me. I
realize I have not responded to that. Instead, I stuff my anger down.
Positive emotions may also be suppressed. For example, once after
having been on my computer for a very long time, I realized a
sensation in my body. It was like an inner buzz. Most often, I would
chalk this up to feeling a good amount of stress. But this time I
became curious and went deeper into this buzzing sensation. It felt
like a silly expression needed to come forth. I allowed it and ended
up jumping around in a childlike way, singing and feeling free and
relieved.
Why are our emotions so easily disregarded? As a child we may be
forced to be quiet when we feel like screaming or told not to cry, or
instructed to sit still when there is an urge to run. We have been
taught to suppress our instinctual and natural emotions. We have been
conditioned not to be who we are.
Many layers of feeling accumulate around two basic emotional
expressions: laughter and crying. Laughing and crying are natural
expressions of our emotional body. Most importantly, they need to be
released and expressed for physical health and emotional balance.
However serious a situation might appear, laughter can create a
180-degree turn and shift tension into lightness and ease. Laughter
seems to be accepted more easily than many of the other emotions.
People unconsciously know about the healing effects of laughter and
wait for chances to join in. It feels good to laugh.
Crying means exposing pain and sadness. It often creates reactions
like shyness, annoyance, shock or even repulsion. We are conditioned
to judge and neglect pain and sadness. People mostly react to crying
of joy or the cry of a baby with acceptance. Wouldn't it be relaxing
and healing if we could embrace the release of pain and sadness as
easily?
Joy and pain, laughter and tears, nature works in paradoxical ways.
One side can't exist without the other.
Medical research has shown that holding back emotions may be a
precursor for many illnesses. Cancer studies have shown that laughter
as well as crying heightens the cure rate. Let's become more aware of
how a good belly laugh or a deep cry from our heart makes us feel
better. In order to do so we will have to lift some veils of
conditioning.
About 12 years ago, I was lucky enough to be part of an intense
emotional meditative therapy group that proceeded non-verbally. A
large group of over 50 people were guided daily for three hours
through the process of laughing without taking a break. This went on
for seven days. The following seven days were about crying and the
atmosphere of sadness. Again, the whole group spent three hours daily
simply wailing. The last seven days led into silent sitting and
observing our emotions.
This experience was truly transformative and changed my life. I
experienced that my emotional body is something else than I thought it
was. I thought an emotion would be linked to something that happens.
For example, when something wonderful happens, I might smile or laugh.
When something horrible happens, I feel bad or cry. But now I realized
this was not so. Our mind always tries to interpret and manifest
meaning. The emotional body has its own rhythm and truth independent
of the reasons and interpretations of our mind.
Laughter can be present and waiting to happen no matter what I
experience. Similarly, no matter whether there may be a reason in my
outer life or not, my tears might like to flow. What a tremendous
insight! I made contact with a very powerful aspect of my emotional
body. Emotions have a dimension within themselves that are not
necessarily dependent on circumstances and not necessarily connected
to my interpretations! This helped me tremendously to stop judging my
feelings and allow any emotion more mindfully.
For example, now when I feel a strong pressure on the place above
my heart rather than spending too much time trying to analyze what
particularly triggered it, I may go to my girlfriend and ask if I can
cry for a few moments. She already knows and understands. Some sweet
moments of sobbing happen, maybe accompanied by some words, or maybe
not, while she holds my hands. The event ends with a smile as both of
us enjoy this release and healing.
This process can also be understood by following the impulses the
brain sends to the muscles and glands. When we feel moody or unhappy,
what happens in our neuro-physiology is that an impulse is sent from
our brain but not translated into action. For example, if I feel
angry, adrenaline needs to be released. Moving in a way that releases
the adrenaline will create balance and feeling good. But if I don't
release the adrenaline, my emotions are likely to be blocked.
There is a need for endorphins to travel through the body. Laughing
and crying are the avenues for this to occur; they are the conscious
solutions for our endorphins! Expressing emotions is deeply cleansing
and necessary for dealing with compulsive/addictive behaviors,
co-dependency and many other destructive or limiting patterns in a
respectful and successful way.
Think of some creative ways you can allow and embrace the emotions
you may not have been aware of before. How can you express them in new
ways? Wouldn't it be nice to learn how to scream in the car or hit a
cushion rather than to eat when feeling angry? Finding many situations
daily that call for humor, as a non-sense response, is often the most
intelligent answer and approach in many areas of life.
Let's summarize some steps to consciously and intelligently address
any of our emotions:
- Practice identifying hidden emotional responses.
- Acknowledge and embrace any up-coming emotion.
- Take some distance from the emotion and know it is not you, it
is not the world, and it is not all. Observing your emotions is a
powerful tool.
- Allow acceptance and this healthy distance to guide you in
finding creative ways to express and release the emotion in a way
that is respectful to yourself and all others involved.
- Experience your new choice - when to express an emotion and when
not to - and enjoy your new, more mature way of practicing
emotional intelligence.
- Give yourself credit for your courage and the new steps you have
taken, and thank yourself.
Arpana Greenwood (German ND, Trainer from
Society of NLP) offers Conscious Solutions seminars, NLP certification
trainings and consultations in Anchorage and Fairbanks. For more
information call 258-2608, toll free 1-888-846-4251.
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Making
Peace with Our Emotions
by Jackie Kosednar
There’s no
doubt that negative emotions can cause some major problems for humans.
Holistic science has found that chronic fear, anger or pain can cause
disease. Even the word disease reveals troubled emotions: dis-ease, or
lack of ease. Negative upsets impact every part of us, not only
disrupting our bioelectrical systems, but creating chemical responses in
the body and brain that further disrupt our lives.
For example,
strong emotions of shame and humiliation can stop the thyroid gland from
producing necessary chemicals, or over stimulate it to produce too many
chemicals. People with gum disease or excessive tooth decay were often
raised in families that were chronically angry, with members yelling
nasty words at each other. This nastiness created a corresponding acid
condition in the mouth. Emotional trauma can shock the body and create
disease conditions from nine months to a year later, even causing cells
to become cancerous and immune systems ineffective. Chronic physical
problems usually have correlating chronic emotional issues.
When our
thoughts and emotions are in constant turmoil, the body is also in
constant turmoil. Post-traumatic stress happens when the memory of
trauma is re-stimulated regularly. Outside
world triggers (sights, sounds, faces, smells or even feeling situations
that remind one emotionally of the original trauma) keep the body/mind
churning. The more traumas we have experienced, the more reactive we
become.
Feeling like a
nervous wreck is a result of our emotions hitting the nervous system,
creating burnouts and shutdowns. When bio-energy is shut down or burned
out from overloads, the organs, actions and functions of the body lose
their effectiveness, and our health deteriorates. What we end up with is
a host of imbalances.
It is precisely
here that holistic health is most powerful. By correcting imbalances,
holistic techniques free the body to operate more effectively. All
holistic therapies clear stress of one kind or another, leaving the body
in a greater state of health and balance. The body is a self-healing
mechanism. When stress is removed or resolved, the body is free to heal
and rebalance itself naturally.
Although a large
part of society believes that disease is something “out there” that
will “get you,” the truth is that disease is primarily caused by the
stress of negative, unresolved, emotional garbage. I call it garbage
because, just like trash, unless old emotional memory is resolved and
discharged, it will build up, layer upon layer, getting more rank as
time goes on. Simply put, stress on top of stress and imbalance on top
of imbalance creates disease.
It took years of
early psychological study for researchers to understand that a mentally
ill person was actually a traumatized person. Our social structure was
(and, to some degree, still is) based on the taboo of telling people
your problems, especially traumas like sexual or physical abuse.
Thus, because of the shame created by the taboo, family secrets
were diligently kept. Society was very unforgiving, and even today a
social stigma holds that people who seek help for emotional issues or
personal growth are some how weak individuals who can’t solve their
own problems. This lie keeps people from getting the help they need to
find health. Rather, it creates the self-perpetuating, neurotic society
that we live in and accept.
The more memory
of pain and anxiety we carry, the more we want to forget or deny it. We
create complicated defense systems to move away from the discomfort of
negative emotions by avoiding it, medicating it, eating it, suppressing
it, blaming others for it … and on the list goes. The only real cure
for a negative emotion, however, is the opposite of running away.
Rather, dive into it! When
you dive into your negative emotion, then, just like a body of water, it
splashes outward and dissipates. Facing a negative emotion and moving
into it usually breaks up the pain and eliminates it. This works with
both physical and emotional trauma.
Diving into
anger, exploring it, and being with it instead of dumping it on someone
else will usually make it dissolve, often revealing the fears that
fueled it. For example, anger almost always covers a more painful
feeling, such as powerlessness. When we feel anger, we are feeling a
power shortage. The anger makes us gather our forces and fight. We then
feel empowered. Rage-aholics and people with anger issues often use
anger to avoid other, more vulnerable feelings, such as sadness.
Sometimes, when
in the whirlwind of negative emotions, we try to gain control. To try
and stop the onslaught of feelings, we often turn against ourselves,
believing we are the problem. When we turn against ourselves, however,
the body also turns against itself. Allergies and sensitivities
(emotional bumps) accumulate and lead to autoimmune problems. In energy
psychology, this is called a reversal. The more times we have turned
against ourselves, the more troubled and addicted we become. This is why
praise, validation and acceptance are so important to children and all
human beings. When you validate the self, you strengthen it and the body
in which it lives.
Holistic Science
has discovered quite a bit about the body/mind relationship. You usually
can’t heal a body until you heal the mind. Thus, coming to terms with
our feelings and emotions is very important to the health of our bodies.
Resolving old issues and conflicts will not only heal the mind and body
but increase our self-esteem and feeling of worth.
We now have
plenty of tools and practitioners to help ourselves. It is money well
worth spending, for how much is it worth not to suffer? Holistic Science
has developed many energy medicine techniques to clear negative emotions
almost immediately. Anyone can learn to use these techniques – even
children! Meridian tapping and acupressure procedures, for example, can
be easily understood, and many psychotherapists, coaches and holistic
practitioners are teaching and using these techniques in their
practices.
To learn more,
type the phrase “energy psychology” or “energy medicine” into
your Internet browser and discover a new world of healing possibilities!
Jackie Kosednar is
a hypnotherapist, Energy medicine practitioner, spiritual counselor,
personal growth trainer, and the publisher of Alaska Wellness Magazine.
She teaches Energy Medicine techniques in all of her workshops. Call
272-2469 for more information.
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In
Consideration of Emotions
Marianne
Rolland
…emotions
are messengers from the universe, speaking to our being
and adding a rich dimension to our total human experience.
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Emotions
are energy forms, as are all things in this universe. Emotions are
usually thought of in relation to various feelings (fear, anger, joy,
sorrow etc.) experienced through the physicality of the human body.
When emotions are not fully expressed at the time they are initially
felt, they get stored within the body. As society has dictated for at
least the last millennium, it is far more acceptable to express what
we would consider “positive” or “feel-good” emotions then to
express emotions rendered “negative” or “feel-bad.” Therefore,
most stored emotional energies are of the variety that we consider
“undesirable.” These energies, if not moved, create blocks in the
natural flow and rhythm of the body’s energy system and eventually
crystallize, manifesting in various forms of disease or other physical
ailments.
The
feelings associated with emotions should not be confused with the
feelings one experiences at an intuitive level. Intuitive feelings and
emotional feelings are vastly different and that comparison belongs to
another discussion. Emotions vibrate at different frequencies
depending on which feeling a particular emotion is charged with. For
example, if I become angry and do not express that anger in some
appropriate way, then I will store a low vibrational energy in my
body. I will have literally swallowed a heavy energy form. If I am
experiencing a deep sense of gratitude, I am vibrating at a high
energy frequency which promotes the natural flow of energy in my
body’s energetic system. This being the case, no concentrated blocks
of energy are created and nothing gets stored in the body;
feelings/emotions simply flow through my being with ease.
The
powerful feelings and memories that are connected to stored emotions
make them far more than just vibrational energy. Emotions are
something we all experience. They are an integral part of our shared
human experience, together with body, mind and spirit. They are
phenomena that allow us to gauge certain aspects of our existence in
relation to others. In a way, emotions are messengers from the
universe, speaking to our being and adding a rich dimension to our
total human experience.
The
degree to which emotions interfere with or negatively influence our
daily lives is of increasing concern to individuals in the helping
professions. When we have powerful emotional reactions (when certain
people, places and events trigger a strong emotional response within
us), then we know that what is occurring relates to stored emotional
energies rather than what appears to be transpiring at face value.
Most people are not conscious of this fact and are confused regarding
the nature of their emotional triggers and relationships with others.
The majority of people on the planet are non-feelers; they are living
in their heads and are disconnected to their real feelings. When deep
emotions get triggered, the tendency is to externalize and blame
“others” for how we feel.
There
is a process that teaches people how to feel on deep levels: that is,
how to access stored core emotional energy. This process takes the
individual on a journey into the deepest and most uncharted parts of
his or her being. This process, which is accessed through guided
deep-breathing exercises, taps into stored emotional energies and
repressed memories. While the process may initially trigger a fear
response in the individual, it will inevitably serve to transform
heavy, unwanted, low-vibration emotional energy into light, desirable,
high-vibration energy. The process requires the participant to listen
carefully to what the body is telling him/her and to express whatever
“truths” arise from his/her perception. Truth
is felt and spoken through the heart, using the mind only as a vehicle
for expression.
Healing,
feeling and moving stored core-emotional energy is not about casually
sharing surface emotions or feelings. It is a therapeutic method that
facilitates the movement of stored energies, usually lodged in the mid
and lower chakra areas of the human body. Grief is generally found in
the heart area, while anger is stored in the root or first chakra, and
concentrated energies affiliated with sexual abuse are found in the
spleen or second chakra. To begin to penetrate these areas, the
participant must allow him/herself to experience the full depth of
these emotions. With support and encouragement, the client allows him
or herself to fall or relax into the full depth of his/her feelings.
Since the experience can be very intense, this does not occur all at
once, but comes in waves; touching gently on one's feelings, then
moving deeper into the emotional-being state, staying with the
intensity as long as possible. Practitioners assist the client by
helping identify the feelings he/she is connecting with and then
assisting him/her to move to deeper levels. This is done through
continued focus on the breath, fully relaxing and allowing one’s
conscious awareness to shift from the head to the heart center.
The
process may look quite different for each individual. The important
aspect of the process is to acknowledge and stay
with the feelings—whatever they are; to fully own
one's feelings without judgment. The deeper a person goes into the
feeling state, the greater the progress he/she will make in treatment.
The degree to which we do not allow ourselves to feel our pain is the
degree we also do not feel our joy, for they are the exact same
polarity. So, if we are not willing to embrace our pain, we cannot
have the joy.
Guided
techniques facilitate the process for tapping into unconscious,
concentrated energy forms and initiating movement and change. Once the
energies start to flow freely, emotions/feelings that have never been
experienced on a conscious level will begin to be felt. The internal
process allows stifling negative emotions to transform into positive
light energies. This transformation occurs as a result of the
participant allowing oneself to fully
feel one’s feelings
by staying with those feelings, following them to the core of the
being and not abandoning “self.”
Abandonment
of “self” is a phenomenon that occurs when it is too
uncomfortable, painful or frightening to fully experience our
feelings. Most planetary members have learned to do this by shifting
our conscious attention away from our heart or the center of our being
and into our heads. In our heads, we try to figure out things
logically. Although our minds can be very powerful, they play no
useful role in this treatment methodology. Letting go of the need to
control and simply allow the process to unfold is the key.
The
dissipation of concentrated negative energies or emotions frees the
individual and creates a sense of inner peace, harmony, balance and
connection. Because we must expend energy to store energy, many of us
waste considerable energy (without even knowing it at a conscious
level) by holding onto old, repressed feelings. The amount of energy
being suppressed determines the extent of time an individual spends
living as if he/she were an emotional reactor. Emotional outbursts
occur when others trigger our repressed feelings or energies. It is
natural to feel anger when someone "pushes our buttons'' and the
tendency is to blame the other person. Healing requires that we
acknowledge our emotions and feelings are never about the other person
but about ourselves.
As
children, most of us never heard words like "it is normal to have
feelings;" "all of us not only have feelings, but have a
right to those feelings;" or "it is a good thing to express
our feelings even the unpleasant ones, like anger, guilt and
shame." Consequently,
we learned about feelings by guessing, ignoring, or stuffing, thinking
something was wrong or different with us, and by watching our
unconscious role models. How mom and dad or our other adult caretakers
expressed anger is generally how we learned to express anger. This
isn’t a bad thing, it is just the reason why most of us grew up with
lots of confusion about feelings and emotions and, hence, lacked the
natural ability to express ourselves with ease and confidence.
At
times, part of our human experience is to endure emotional pain and
suffering. How much repressed emotional energy we have stored relates
to the extent of trauma and external oppression we have experienced.
If we have been victims of repeated trauma without the opportunity to
heal, or if we have been physically, sexually, mentally and
emotionally abused, then we are likely experiencing trauma at deep
levels and are storing an abundant supply of emotional energy. This
means that to some degree we are numb or partially frozen emotionally.
In considering emotions, we discover that “feeling is healing,”
and to block feeling is to promote increased suffering. In order to
not have pain in our lives, we must first be willing to allow for its
existence. In the allowing rests the opportunity to discharge the
emotion. As we fully discharge our stored emotional energy, we begin
to tap the god-source that lies within and actualize our true dynamic
self.
Marianne
Rolland MSW, Ph.D., has lived and worked in village
Alaska
for over 24 years. She is the creator of the White
Raven Center, now in
Anchorage
. Contact w.raven@att.net or
(907) 333-4478.
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New
Science, New Beliefs, New Emotions, New Life
Peggy
Snyder Beck
The idea that our emotional state is more powerful than DNA means that we are not chained to the hereditary diseases which follow our familial line.
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How many times have you vowed to change something in your life and worked toward that purpose, only to find yourself in the same mindset via a situation, experience, illness or repeated relationship?
An explanation of why this might happen is now provided by some scientists who view life from a Quantum Physics standpoint. Bruce Lipton, PhD (cell biologist, former teacher at University of Wisconsin School of Medicine, and former pioneering researcher at Stanford University ’s School of Medicine ), has worked to understand the human body by studying the individual cell as a miniature hologram of the entire body. When Dr. Lipton removed DNA and RNA from cells, he found that the cells continued to thrive, grow and live for two months or more! Science formerly postulated that without the ‘brains of the cell’ (also known as DNA and RNA), the cell would die—just as the body dies without the brain intact and operating. However, Lipton proved that the cell still has the capability to find nourishment, ingest, digest, and eliminate without DNA input! (For further explanation, see Bruce Lipton’s book The Biology of Belief.)
Dr. Lipton believes that the real brain of our individual cells is the membrane (the external ‘skin’ around the outside of the cell). The membrane has the intelligence to identify a positive (nourishing) substance or negative (toxic) substance, and to instruct the cell to move toward the positive or away from the negative. He states this membrane (or “membrain” as a humorous memory aid to remember the significance of the cell‘s periphery) is also a communication system for the cell’s interior, as well as with other cells and organs of the body.
Lipton’s research further shows that our cells move in just one direction at a time—either toward growth or away from harm in a protective state. Growth includes emotional feelings of neutrality or happiness (love-based environment). Harm includes emotional feelings of stress or unhappiness (fear-based environment). Lipton also equates this one-directional ability to our emotional body’s ability to be in only one emotional spectrum at a time (that is, in love or in fear). This coincides with what metaphysicists have long taught: that as human beings, we can exist either in love or in fear, but we cannot be in these opposite emotions at the same time.
Using what he witnessed under the microscope, Dr. Lipton notes how a positive attitude propels individual cells (as well as the entire body) toward growth, just as a negative attitude restricts the cell to using its energy to protect and restrict itself. This certainly brings up-to-date meaning to the “The Power of Positive Thinking” postulated by Dr. Normal Vincent Peale back in 1952!
Basically, Dr. Lipton has found a scientifically-proved correlation to common spiritual advice: When you change your thoughts or belief systems from fear to love you are also changing cells in your body to a state of growth and strength. And, because you are then vibrating at a higher, more positive state, you will magnetize higher, more positive experiences to your life.
When we create a healthy, positive emotional body and are happy, enthused and creatively engaged in solving challenges, there is more power to our ability to create wellness and determine what it really is we want in life. We then have the energy and clear direction to get it.
The idea that our emotional state is more powerful than DNA means that we are not chained to the hereditary diseases which follow our familial line. Hereditary illnesses that run in our blood lines can be thwarted or relieved by our positive emotional body/environment. This is an incredibly empowering fact for us to be aware of—and to teach our children! However, when we do not pay attention to our emotional states, DNA instruction to follow hereditary patterns can take over our body.
To those who have worked to shift to positive thinking but do not notice improvement in their experiences or health, Dr. Lipton advises (in a DVD series of his lectures, entitled Alignment: Chiropractice – The New Science and You) : “The conscious mind receives only about 2.000 (two thousand) bits of environmental information every second—compare that to 4,000,000,000 (four billion) bits that the subconscious is handling every second, and you see that the conscious can't focus on a lot of things. That's why you have problems. How many different things can you hold in consciousness in one moment? A few and then boom—it drops out the window. Yet, the subconscious can hold everything and handle all of them all the time. So, subconscious is the main operator. The interesting part of this is that the conscious is the creative part. That's where you can mix and match anything you want. Subconscious is not creative—it’s rote memory. Innate intelligence is when you have control—where your spirit comes in and says "I'm watching the (subconscious) tapes and I don't like what I see! This is where fundamental change can occur."
If you care to allow your spiritual self to change your physical body, an important key is to find your subconscious patterns of fear and lack. This is where the quickest healing comes from, because from healthy Spirit comes happiness, clarity and peace, which can obliterate disease-causing conditions in the body. Allow the communication and guidance you as a Spirit are sending to your body to change your life.
Letting Go of the Negative
Pay attention to your negative thoughts during the day and note them down so that you can bring awareness of these patterns to your conscious mind. (Remember: once you have conscious awareness of a pattern or challenge, you are 90% through the process of changing or healing it!) Once you are aware of a powerful negative belief pattern, set your intent before you go to bed to find and heal the cause of this patterning through your dream space. Note any dreams in the morning and jot down associations and ideas throughout the day. Keep at it! As deep negative patterns were not developed in a short time, be sure to give yourself time, stay committed, and focus on changing the patterns and beliefs that damage and limit you. Uncover the abilities you were blessed with to create the life you want consciously, and know in your heart that you are a beautiful and powerful spirit!
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Peggy Beck is a Trained Clairvoyant Counselor whose work focuses on changing negative subconscious and unconscious beliefs to positive, empowering ones. Call 277-1566 or email: peggybeckus@yahoo.com
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Alchemy of the Soul
by
Nancy Lee-Evans
Paula touches her client
softly, holding her in a reassuring, energetic
embrace of support and love. Cultivating a deep
level of safety, she gently encourages her client,
Joy, to face the abuse she has avoided for 20
years. The difference is that this time Joy is not
alone in that dark room with her uncle. Paula helps
Joy find the words she could not summon up so long
ago. Paula encourages Joy to reclaim her body as her
own, her voice as her instrument of authority.
As Paula then helps to
restructure Joy’s energy field, chakras torn from
the trauma and leading to chronic reproductive
system problems are rebuilt. Joy feels a calm,
open-hearted centeredness that will leave her more
open and confident in her marriage and relationship
with men in general. This is one of many
experiences that Paula and Joy have shared in a
3-year journey of healing and self-discovery in the
Anam Cara Program.
The work is the process of
Soul Alchemy. It comes in a thousand forms—a
thousand stories reflecting the uniqueness of each
soul. While anchored in energy healing, Soul Alchemy
is a much broader process that includes the
exploration of human consciousness, spiritual
awakening, group process, community building and
sacred ceremony as the essential ingredients of
transformation.
Through Soul Alchemy, we
understand the human consciousness element of the
soul on a chakra by chakra basis. In the first
chakra, we explore our heritage; the stories of our
ancestors; our initial nine months with our mothers
as the first and most important of relationships;
and our comfort in our bodies, via individual
rhythms and needs. Rich territory!
The work continues
through the remaining seven chakras exploring the
stages of development and core aspects of identity
and capability held within each. With
awareness comes choice. Many of our students find
their voice and, with it, the empowerment of greater
authenticity.
A strong supportive
community can create an emotional container for real
change. Soul Alchemy has
demonstrated time and again the power of the
community to carry its members through. These
relationships become precious, carrying as they do a
powerful sense of belonging.
Soul Alchemy takes its
potency from a deepening relationship with Spirit.
We are in a constant dialog with Spirit, whether we
know it or not. Through spiritual practices that
foster a direct experience of the divine, that
dialog becomes conscious and our faith grows.
All of our experiences,
feelings, memories and intentions—both good and
bad—process through our energy fields. A healthy
field creates what we need effortlessly, magnetizing
the universe to bring it into manifestation.
Trauma, injuries, toxins and unhealthy physical,
mental and emotional habits interfere with the
functioning of the energy field, resulting in
disease and disharmony in our relationships. The
energy healing skills developed through Soul Alchemy
dramatically enhance the process of healing by
removing energetic blocks and restoring harmony and
balance to our body/mind.
Sacred Ceremony is a last
key in the chain of Soul Alchemy. Through potent
ceremonies such as re-birthing, reclaiming virginity
and the medicine wheel, powerful experiences of the
divine and healing take place. Lives truly change
and souls are reclaimed.
These are the ingredients
of Soul Alchemy. In Paula’s own words, “This work is
my life-line to my soul!”
Nancy Lee-Evans is
director of the Anam Cara Program of Spiritual
Development and Healing. For information about the
program or for a private session call 345-6760 or go to
www.nancylee-evans.com
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Anxiety
Disorders: When Normal Worry Turns Counterproductive
by Sirpa Lahtinen-Gorman
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Anxiety
disorders are one of the most common mental health problems;
they are also the most responsive to treatment. |
Do you get stressed out before
the holidays with too much to do? Do you feel nervous at a job
interview or when taking a test or meeting new people?
Anxiety is part of everyday
life. All of us experience it at some point in our lives. Mild levels
of anxiety can actually increase our performance and motivate us to
excel, as we are more alert and focused. After the situation has
subsided, we no longer experience anxiety.
If you have an anxiety disorder,
however, an intense level of anxiety prevents you from coping with
problems. This can be terribly disruptive to performance. Anxiety
disorders are the most common mental health problem that people
experience. Luckily, these types of disorders usually respond well to
different treatment modalities.
So, what are the most common
anxiety disorders and what are the most effective treatments
modalities for them?
Types of Anxiety Disorders
Generalized anxiety disorder is
characterized by chronic worry and tension. The source of the anxiety
is difficult to pinpoint, and the individual is consumed with anxiety
throughout the day. Relaxation is difficult and often sleep is
disturbed. Some people with generalized anxiety disorder have
headaches and feel irritable all the time.
Panic disorder entails episodes
of panic and terror that strike suddenly. Individuals with panic
disorder may sense strong heart palpitations--so strong that they
report feeling like they are having a heart attack and may end up in
an emergency room. Often the feeling of terror lasts for a few
minutes, but the fear of having another panic attack lingers.
Social phobia disorder is
characterized by fear of being in social settings and, especially, a
fear of humiliation within these settings.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
tends to focus on rituals a person has created in hopes of alleviating
anxiety.
Post traumatic stress disorder
is also an anxiety disorder, but often the cause of this disorder is a
traumatic event that continues to create anxiety in an individual’s
life. Many times the event may have occurred several years back.
These different anxiety
disorders are disabling to varying degrees. I have treated individuals
who have had difficulty leaving their homes to people who have been
unable to attend work and end up avoiding all life obligations. For
some people anxiety may appear mild, but it is still a chronic daily
battle that does not seem to get any easier.
Treatment
Fortunately, many anxiety
disorders respond well to treatment. Cognitive behavioral therapy with
a professional therapist will usually focus on the individual’s
irrational thoughts and beliefs that maintain anxiety. Therapy will
facilitate behavioral changes to reduce the level of anxiety.
Cognitive behavioral therapy
along with medication seems to be one of the most effective ways of
managing anxiety disorders. Though the cognitive behavioral therapy
model is well known to many therapists, there are many other
modalities of treatment that also help in reducing symptoms of
anxiety.
For the patient, many things can
be done at home to help lessen anxiety. For example, reducing one’s
intake of caffeine and starting a regular exercise routine are
helpful. Learning to meditate or joining a yoga or tai chi class that
focuses on reducing stress may be beneficial also. Additionally,
biofeedback (sometimes provided by therapists) may help individuals
learn how to reduce their heart rates in anxiety-prone situations.
A Case History
Alyssa, a twenty-year-old female
client, was referred to counseling after multiple doctors’
appointments and several medications that only marginally controlled
her chronic headaches and high blood pressure. In initial sessions,
Alyssa discussed her worries about work and finances. She worried what
other people thought of her and had a fear of saying something
embarrassing to others. Like many clients, Alyssa had experienced
problems with anxiety for several years. She had been reluctant,
however, to seek mental health treatment.
Alyssa finally experienced a
level of discomfort with her anxiety that made her seek counseling.
She learned in counseling to work on her irrational thoughts (for
example, "People are staring at me." "People don’t
like me." "I am not good enough") by looking to more
rational thought patterns. She learned to use positive statements
(such as, "I am likable." "I am good enough.")
that helped her to change her lifestyle patterns as well. She started
to go out more and worry less. She started paying more attention to
her nutrition and to monitor the amount of caffeine she was consuming.
I taught Alyssa several
different ways to use imagery, an effective relaxation technique
taught by many therapists. For example, by using the imagery of a
"container", Alyssa learned to put her worries away for time
being. With her worries safely contained, she could then start working
on problems one at a time--rather than being overwhelmed by multiple
problems simultaneously. I also taught her deep breathing and showed
her how she could reduce her blood pressure by taking several deep
breaths and slowing down.
After several months of
treatment, Alyssa reported a reduction in symptoms of anxiety and a
significant increase in her life satisfaction.
The Bottom Line
Anxiety disorders are one of the
most common mental health problems that people face today. The good
news is that they are also the most responsive to treatment. With the
help of a mental health provider who is experienced in treatment, the
extremes of anxiety disorders can be lessened to normal daily
anxieties. For those willing to additionally make some healthy changes
in lifestyle, anxiety disorders may not only be reduced, but may bring
out better performance, more efficiency, and a happier life.
Sirpa Lahtinen-Gorman
is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Eagle
River, Alaska. Visit her on www.alaskatherapy.com
or call at (907) 720-1878.
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Anger
Management: Taking Time Out to Cool Down
by Sirpa Gorman
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A time-out
is an opportunity to slow down, process what just occurred to
provoke anger, and formulate a productive solution to the
problem. |
Anger is a normal human emotion.
The expression of anger can range from irritation to a much more
destructive means, such as domestic violence or road rage. Finding
appropriate ways to express our emotions can help build healthy
relationships with others and ourselves. Though we often learn ways of
expressing anger from our families (especially when there is domestic
violence in the family), learning anger management skills opens a door
to alternative ways of coping with situations. A simple way to begin
is with time-out exercises.
To begin, it is essential to
recognize the first signs when you are getting angry. For example,
this may include an increase in body temperature, sweaty palms, and
tense muscles. How does your body let you know that you are getting
angry? It’s important to identify these signs when you are calm so
that you can recognize them when you are getting angry. To do this,
list in chronological order all the signs that your body sends to you
to indicate that you are getting angry. Your list may read something
like this:
 | I get a heavy feeling in my
stomach. |
| My face begins to feel warm. |
| My shoulder muscles get
tense. |
After you have completed this
list, begin to consider when you are still in control of your emotions
and at what point you become angry. When anger escalates to rage it is
often very difficult to make good choices about words and actions.
Know when you are able to take a time-out and leave the situation.
What’s a time-out? Very simply, it’s a time to cool down in a safe
place. It is also an opportunity to slow down, process what just
occurred to provoke anger, and formulate a productive solution to the
problem.
Secondly, come up with a
time-out plan. Where can you go and what will you do to calm down?
Think of a place at your home that is relaxing for you and where you
are able to collect your thoughts. It may be a bedroom for some people
or a garage for someone else. Identify where that place is for you. If
you are driving, the best thing to do is to find a rest area, a quiet
side road, or just pull over on the side of the road. Then, take a few
deep breaths. You may also want to get out of the car and move around
in order to work through the angry energy that your body holds.
You may also need to come up
with a second anger management plan for your work place. Taking
time-out at work can be more challenging. Some work places are more
flexible and will allow you to leave a situation that is frustrating
for you for a period of time. Other situations are more difficult to
leave. When it is more difficult to leave, excusing yourself to use
the restroom for few minutes may be enough to help you calm down.
How long is a time-out? For some
people, 20 to 30 minutes is needed for an adequate time-out. For some
it may be a shorter time, and for others an hour or more. After you
have removed yourself from the situation that aggravated you, take
some deep breaths. Observe your body and note when your breathing is
normal and your muscles are no longer tense. After you start feeling
calm, process the event that angered you. For example, if you had an
argument with your partner, think of the situation. What angered you?
How did you handle the situation? When you return, what would be the
most productive way to approach the situation and what would result in
the most positive outcome?
It is often helpful to tell our
loved ones that we are taking time to calm down and, if we know, how
long we will be gone. It is important to tell them not to follow you
since this is a time for you alone to reflect on the situation. I
advise all of my clients not to drive to a different location when
they are angry. This is to prevent any accidents and road rage from
occurring.
Thirdly, know when you are ready
to come back from your time-out. How do you know if you are ready? Go
back to the beginning of this exercise and look at the list of signs
that identify when you are getting angry. When you no longer have
these physiological signs of anger present, it may be time to return
and to deal with the original issue. For example, when you no longer
have sweaty palms, your pulse has returned to normal and your muscles
are no longer tense, you may be ready to leave your time-out.
However, it’s also important
to have a plan when you return to the original situation. For example,
if you had an argument with your spouse, decide while in time-out what
the best way for resolving the situation might be. Sometimes an
apology is appropriate. Other times, especially late at night, it may
be best to decide to continue the conversation at some set-time the
following day. With issues that have been long lasting, it may be best
to find a professional to help mediate the situation. This is needed
especially when things tend to escalate to violence.
Finally, if you find yourself
getting angry again when you return, don’t hesitate to repeat this
exercise and go back to time-out. You may have not spent adequate time
in cooling off and simply need a few more minutes to calm down.
Another possibility is that what you decided to do to try to resolve
the issue when returning may not have been appropriate. In that case,
the need for outside mediator may be essential.
I have taught this exercise to
clients with violent backgrounds, couples with anger problems, and
individuals who simply wanted to learn better ways of communicating
with the people around them. Practicing anger management skills is
often necessary, so allow yourself to try this several times. It
becomes easier to implement after several repetitions of the exercise.
It may also be helpful to tell your loved ones that you have come up
with a plan of action on how to manage your anger better. The
additional support from those who love you and your own dedication to
practicing anger management will often result in a more peaceful,
healthy, conflict resolution.
Sirpa Gorman
is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She can be reached at (907)
720-1878 or at
www.alaskatherapy.com.
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