Rites of Passage

Bruce Bibee

 

The following is an excerpt from The Deep Healing Process, which I recently published. As this month’s issue of Alaska Wellness is focused on family, I want to highlight the spiritual aspects of child-rearing. Primarily, that parenting task amounts to preparing our children for three basic rites of passage.

For ourselves, our inner parenting requires that we revisit those time-frames and make sure that we have ourselves accomplished these developmental tasks. Why? Because if we haven’t done it, then we can’t reasonably expect ourselves to get our kids through it.

Rites of passage are usually tied to spiritual development. There seem to be at least three that occur fairly early in life. The first of these happens around puberty. By 12 years old, you are supposed to have created a viable mental-ego. This is accomplished by successfully moving through all your psycho-social crises. Since birth, you have marched directly away from the unconscious Ground of Being that created you. At puberty (at least in tribal cultures), it is time, then, for you to connect your hard-won mental-ego to your spiritual nature. This is the first rite-of-passage, and is normally accomplished by some kind of initiation into manhood or womanhood. What is confirmed by this rite-of-passage is that your ego-self and spiritual-self are supposed to work together for the rest of your life. The initiation, therefore, is designed to get you back in touch with your spiritual self so that the partnership can begin.

Assuming this first passage occurs, it is at about 18 or 19 years old that there is a second spiritual opening wherein you can determine your Higher Purpose. Tribal cultures use the vision quest as a key technological aid in that endeavor. Following this rite-of-passage ordeal, young adults begin doing their Higher Purpose in ways that are appropriate to their age and experience. Usually, they have some kind of apprenticeship through their teens, and now they may be apprentices in some trade or profession. Since these trades and professions promote a combination of ego-self and Higher Self working towards a common goal, tribal members begin working along two fronts and maturing along two tracks simultaneously. By about 25 years, then, they will have reached the rank of “journeyman,” and this is the third rite of passage.

At the journeyman stage, a couple of things are supposed to happen: 1) you return home and your family recognizes and honors you as a fully matriculated adult; and 2) the tribal system honors your advancement to the status as a full adult member of the tribe. In other words, you do not have to prove anything, anymore, to anyone. You get to comfortably be an adult—no more pretending, no more posturing, no more clawing your way to the top, and so on. You relax into adulthood and do your life’s work with pleasure. A high school or college diploma will not provide this shift in consciousness, as neither of those confirms your spiritual self. Nor does either acknowledge how well you have harnessed your ego-self and your Higher Self in service of your Higher Purpose. That’s why most of us are still trying to prove ourselves to someone.

I received this confirmation in a typically synchronistic way. As one of the elements or symptoms in the Adult Children of Alcoholics profile is "fear of authority," this was the challenge the Universe gave me to overcome. I had to move through that fear and find acceptance from authority-figures (which was what I always wanted, anyway). The way it was presented to me was as an opportunity to present at the Judicial Conference. I was going to be talking to all the judges in the state of Alaska about treatment options for violent offenders. A whole room full of authority-figures—potentially angry authority figures at that—and I was deathly afraid that they would somehow ridicule, reject, and ultimately humiliate me (since that was my history with authority figures ever since I could remember).

When I not only found their acceptance, but they also asked me to return the following year, I was a bit overwhelmed. I had finally achieved the status of a respected, adult member of society. It took me about six months to fully integrate what that meant. In the end, I figured out that my last childhood developmental stage, which is supposed to be resolved at about age 25, had finally been completed.

 

Bruce Bibee is a Licensed Professional Counselor, the author of The Deep Healing Project, and a Kung-Fu San Soo instructor. You can reach him at: 562-1242. For more, see http://www.brucebibee.com/

 

Healing Path  

Poetry by Terri Lyne Anthony

 

 

Gaping wounds mended, bleeding no more. Just a bit achy, maybe a little sore. Scars of a life's battle hard-fought and won. Reminders of healing work I've done. Help I've received from a heart or hand... or two. Others gone before me have shown me what to do. My Healing Path I must walk; I can't fake it or just talk the talk. To others my hand I extend, Helping their sorrows and pains to mend. Passing on what was given to me. Love, hope, and compassion shared so free.

 

Terri Lyne Anthony has HeartPath Wellness Center in Wasilla, providing Reiki, Soul Return, Shamanic Breathwork; classes/private sessions.  FMI:  (907)373-3227 or t.l.anthony@att.net 

 

Holistic Therapies for Whole Health
by Jackie Kosednar
 

“ The media is constantly trying to sell us an easy fix. But is this really the way we want to handle our bodies."

 

Illness—be it mentally, physical, emotionally or spiritually based—is something that our society is conditioned to look at as an entity that has somehow ‘gotten’ us. Even if we are good citizens and go to the doctor regularly, it can still get us. Feeling bad, we go to doctors and are given two options: drugs or surgery.

 

The drug industry came about because of our demand to ‘fix it now.’ Through media advertising, we feel entitled to the magic bullet—the wonder drugs that we have spent billions of dollars to find. Both wonder drugs and miracle surgery are designed to ‘make it all go away’ and may even give you the face and curves you want. The media is constantly trying to sell us an easy fix. But is this really the way we want to handle our bodies?

 

The truth is that there are no wonder drugs. Especially when you consider all the risks and the side effects. But, hey, if the going gets too rough, you can always take a tranquilizer.

 

The Alternative Health Movement offers so much more.  First, it is founded in learning better life skills and taking responsibility for ourselves, not only physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. After all, each of us is a whole person—not just a body or mind!

 

Because of our fix-it-fast mentality, alternative health can be misunderstood. It doesn’t offer quick fixes—even though there are some powerful herbs that are easily proven stronger than drugs. Herbs work over time, in a natural way, by honoring the body and its amazing healing ability to heal itself. This is also a keystone to what holistic health offers: wonderful, powerful, respectful therapies that help to restore your body to health or keep it healthy.

 

If you have a lifetime of stress in your body and your shoulders are stiff as a board, one massage isn’t going to change everything. But with regular massage therapy, your shoulders relax, stress leaves and blood pressure comes down. Now, your body works better, your health improves and you feel great. That is the wonder of any holistic therapy: everything gets better.

 

As a hypnotherapist, I get calls every week from people who want to stop smoking. And, in most cases, each individual wants to stop smoking in one session. No matter that these folks may have smoked 30 years, they know they can do it in one session. While this can happen, it is rare. Most people need time to adjust smoothly. The same goes for weight loss—we want it all off in one session: food addictions healed, totally motivated and ready to work out. Does this sound ‘real’ to you? If so, maybe you are applying the magic bullet theory to alternative health.

 

There are no quick fixes when it comes to the body. The holistic model views the body as a magnificent machine that heals itself—with a little help. Therapy is the process of helping the body to heal itself. Whether you receive acupuncture, chiropractic, herbs, magnetic therapy, naturopathy, hypnotherapy, allergy clearing or counseling, it is always a process of correcting the imbalances in the body/mind that are creating negative symptoms in your life.

 

Disease is not an entity we need to insure ourselves against. It is simply a series of imbalances that, with therapy, can be corrected. The beauty of holistic health is that if you correct the body, the mind corrects and if you correct the mind (old traumas), the body corrects, too. Healthy people are happy people.

 

I have seen people with serious diseases go into remission simply by changing their diet. I have seen people who have healed cancer, dissolved tumors and even rebuilt organs with herbs, psychotherapy and bodywork. And herein lies another secret of holistic healing: using complementary therapies that work together to support the body and provide a wealth of healing. Indeed, holistic protocols are the future health care. We will see combinations of therapy and magnetic machines and devices that can heal anything.

 

Alternative Health is not only for people who are sick or mentally ill; it is for everyone. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes the going can get tough. Support from regular bodywork, counseling or coaching and a spiritual life is incredibly helpful to overcoming life’s challenges. In addition, disease prevention and maintenance of the body with self-care works to keep people happy and healthy their whole life long.

 

Now, let’s consider the finances. Many more people cannot afford health insurance today and, besides, the old days when insurance covered everything are long gone. The real problem, however, is that fixing something after it is broken can cost a lot of money. Why not simply stay healthy through holistic therapies? One reason is that most people aren’t conditioned to pay for their own health care.

 

If we didn’t have an insurance system, we would take much better care of our bodies than we do now. But, alas, we are still living out the media conditioning of the 1950s that turned doctors into God and made us believe doctors could ‘fix anything’. We were conditioned to believe that our health wasn’t in our own hands and that everyone needed medical help. This, along with the ‘disease is out there and ready to strike’ mentality created the insurance industry to keep us safe from ourselves and our poor health habits. Medical insurance was probably someone’s good-intention idea. It seemed a way that everyone could afford medical treatment—if you were unlucky enough to get hit by the Big Disease. Fear is a good motivator.

 

Now, almost 60 years later, we see a failing health care system that doesn’t give people health and, many times, only prolongs their misery. We see very few “cures” that come from drugs, for most drugs only help manage unpleasant symptoms and do not heal the cause. What we ended up with is an insurance system that helps us manage our disease, not our health. Most medical care is, in fact, simply disease management.

 

But times are changing! People want more than that from their health care system.  The holistic health care movement is growing so fast because people are ready to pay for health—not disease management. Out of our own pockets, more of us are paying for holistic health care therapies to increase health and prevent disease.  In our toxic, changing world, holistic therapy might be the best investment you can ever make. How much is your healthy, happy life worth?

Jackie Kosednar is a hypnotherapist, energy medicine practitioner, personal growth trainer, and the publisher of Alaska Wellness Magazine. She is also the author of the book, One Miracle After Another. Contact: 272-2469 or jackie@alaskawellness.com

Discovering Participatory Soul Retrieval
by Marianne Rolland
 

“ I wondered what could be more empowering than retrieving lost parts of our own soul."

 

Reclaiming lost parts of our soul has traditionally been performed by indigenous shamans and, more recently, by shamanic practitioners.  The process used to accomplish this amazing feat is similar among tribes across the globe.  The Shaman (or practitioner) lies on the floor next to the patient while deepening into an altered state through drumming, rattling, and/or trance-inducing herbs. After setting his/her intent to retrieve the lost soul parts of the patient, the Shaman then enters non-ordinary reality (the unseen spirit dimension). The patient is instructed not to journey with the Shaman, but to stay present in ordinary reality.

 

We have all experienced some form of trauma in our lives. The effect such events have on the core of our beings—our very souls—cannot be minimized, measured or compared with others. We do not know if harsh words spoken repeatedly to a child are any more or less traumatic to the soul than an experience of sexual molestation. We do not know if emotional abandonment by parents is any less devastating than harsh physical abuse.  Anytime the soul experiences trauma—in our mother’s womb or as a baby, small child, adolescent, teenager, young adult, middle-aged adult, elder, or even in a past lifetime—pieces of our soul essence become fragmented. These soul parts, fleeing to escape the emotional pain caused by traumatic events, become scattered across space and time. When our perpetrators are also people we love, confusion occurs, and so does an unconscious exchange of soul parts. All traumatic experiences that are unattended, unprocessed and untreated result in some form of soul loss. 

 

A Personal Experience

While serving as an itinerate mental health worker for one of Alaska’s rural communities, I had a client who I intuitively felt was suffering from soul loss. Amy* appeared fatigued to the point of exhaustion. Her eyes were sunken with deep dark circles; her breathing was shallow; her body stance was slouched; and her voice tone was indicative of someone who had given up on life. As Amy’s story unfolded so did an emerging theme of self-criticism, self-doubt, self-sacrifice and self-hatred. My sense of her soul loss intensified, as Amy appeared to be hanging onto life by a thread. Through gentle query, I discovered that she also attributed her condition to soul loss. That is, Amy was conscious of the fact that she was struggling for survival as a result of separation from parts of her own soul. She shared about a time in her life when she consciously gave up part of herself and expressed that she did not know how or if she could get it back. Because she had no appetite, her body was quickly fading as well. Amy knew she desperately needed help.

 

Recognizing that traditional Western methods for treatment were inadequate to serve my client, I was challenged to explore the phenomena of soul retrieval. Because I was not aware of anyone practicing this within Alaska, I made arrangements for Amy to travel out of state. When she returned to Alaska and shared her experience with me, I was struck by the fact that the soul retrieval process was something that was done for her—as opposed to her being an active participant. Intuitively, I instructed Amy to do a ceremony each day to welcome her soul parts back home.

 

I was extremely grateful for Amy’s healing, yet something about not participating directly in her own healing process bothered me. Perhaps it was my social work training, which places emphasis on teaching techniques so that clients can empower themselves, that pushed me to explore further this fascinating phenomenon of soul recovery. I wondered what could be more empowering than retrieving lost parts of our own soul.

 

Cultivating Participation

 With no disrespect intended for this ancient method of healing, I felt challenged to discover an alternative method for recovering soul parts. I wanted a process that would fully engage the client in his/her own healing.  Thus, I began to work with my clients on deeper levels by tapping into early childhood traumas and helping them process and move stored emotional energy. I began to consciously delve into my own healing journey and to discover places within myself that were fragmented and needed recovery. I awoke to the reality that I could not help others beyond places that I had not helped my self.  I recognized that when we are hurt in relationships and lose trust for others, the only way we can heal is to risk trusting at least one other human being. I began to see that emotional damage equates to soul loss.  

 

The effect soul loss has on our life experience is profound. Each person we come into contact with reflects our own fragmented soul pieces. Thus, those that trigger deep emotional responses within are giving us a profound opportunity to heal. As we release the energy of unresolved feelings, we clear the way for our soul parts to return home.

 

When James was five years old, he and his seven-year-old brother were molested by a teenage babysitter and several of her friends. James was so traumatized by the experience that he froze his “little boy self” in a state of terror. As a teenager, James repeatedly found himself taken advantage of sexually. As an adult, James experienced many failed relationships as (on a subconscious level) he felt like a hostage to any woman he got involved with. Eventually, the unexpressed anger he had for his original perpetrators would surface and the relationship would end. At age 52, James began using the participatory soul retrieval process to bring back many of his lost soul parts. He is now no longer controlled by his early childhood trauma. James is at peace within and feels a fullness he never experienced before.

 

Finding the Map

No matter how much we excel in certain areas of our lives, we may continuously wonder: Why do I feel empty inside?  Why is there always a longing for something more?  Why do I react to certain people and situations as if controlled by some unseen force? Why do I sometimes feel like I am out of my body? Each one of us can look within and examine the quality and nature of those empty places. Scanning the flow of energy within our own body provides us with a map that allows us to journey to the damaged and fragmented parts of our soul. In order to heal, however, we must fill ourselves up from the inside. This translates into bringing home all of our soul parts scattered across the universe, throughout space and time.

 

As far back as she could remember, Lisa recalled disturbing dreams of loud trains going by her house. The sound of the train was so real that it would wake her, causing her to scream for her mother in the middle of the night.  As an adolescent these dreams intensified into vivid episodes of the train reaching the summit of a hill and then exploding down the other side, heading straight for Lisa’s bedroom.  In her young adult life, Lisa repeatedly wondered why she found herself living near railroad tracks and train stations. In her mid-thirties, Lisa began using the participatory soul retrieval process. Once, while deeply in the process, she experienced a past life in which she was a man who had committed suicide by throwing himself in front of a train. In allowing her self to remember and fully process this past life experience, Lisa was able to retrieve a lost part of her soul.

 

Participatory Soul Retrieval is a powerful process for reclaiming lost parts of our own souls. It is a process that requires us to trust another to witness our most painful and traumatic life experiences. Participatory Soul Retrieval is about reclaiming the essence of who we truly are by tapping into our authentic source of power. Soul retrieval is a magnificent heart-opening experience that might be compared to giving birth to one’s Self.  It is about coming home, discovering true fulfillment, and—at long last—showing up for, embracing, and loving all of our Self. 

~ ~ ~
 

*All client names have been changed.

 

Marianne Rolland, MSW, Ph.D., has lived and worked in rural Alaska for 30 years. She is the founder of the White Raven Center, now in Anchorage. Contact: w.raven@att.net or 333-4478.