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Who
Am I? Freedom from Conditioning
Jackie
Kosednar
It
is easy to lighten up on others when you lighten up on
yourself.
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Who
am I? Not only have I
heard this question many times from clients and students, there was a
time when I asked it often of myself.
Usually it comes out in despair after a relationship breaks up:
I don’t know who I am. This is
not a nice spot to be!
Plato
said the secret of a happy life is to ‘know thyself’. So, who am I
really? We all have reference points we use to answer this question.
I am a single mother. I am a teacher. I am a business owner. I am a
clerk, nurse, musician, or baker.
Our egos can thus feel gratified, but this occupation is never
really who we are—it’s what we do.
Remember
Deepak Chopra’s famous phrase: ‘I am a spiritual being having a
human experience’? This
made a lot of people happy to realize that they didn’t need to be
anything, they just needed to BE. What a relief! What does a being do?
Just be!
If
you were raised in a perfect world with perfect parents, the ‘who am
I’ question is never an issue. The answer is obvious to these
people. “I am me. Who else could I be?” wrote Dr Seuss.
Such individuals have a strong sense of self. They intuitively
move through life in their own way and live the life they want. This
is not selfishness; this is happiness.
The
more neglect one experiences as a child, the more ‘who am I?’ can
put one into a tail spin—and, the more that person doesn’t know
who he or she is. Why? Parents mirror us so that we can see ourselves.
Perfect parents recognize the uniqueness in each of their offspring
and are able to point out ‘you’ to you in their loving. By
allowing that uniqueness to spring forth, one would naturally
gravitate toward that which makes one’s world right—and one’s
self happy.
But
there are no perfect parents, and we are all products of our
conditioning to some degree. We become who ‘they’ wanted us to
be—they being parents, teachers, authority figures, etc. They told
us who we were. We decide that in order to be loved, we must be what
they want. Feeling that we are not enough, we model ourselves after
whatever our family, social status, and/or peer group thinks we
‘should’ be. Or, we
rebel and become the opposite. But
rebellion is not us either.
Much
of this conditioning is obvious in the media, through the constant
visual reminder of what and who we are supposed to be. Then, one day
(usually in our forties), we wake up and say: Who
am I? What am I living for? What do I want to be when I grow up?
Thus
begins the spiritual quest to get us out of our conditioning so that
we can discover who we really are and why we are really here. What’s
it all about anyway? Who am I? These are spiritual questions that
can only be answered by the self. When the conditioning is stripped
away, the question shifts to: Who
do I want to be for me? If I develop my skills, talents and abilities
the way I want and followed my own inclinations and intuition, where
would it lead me?
Depression
is a disease of disillusionment that is more rampant in our society
than cancer. Depression is
a result of being stuck in a mass lie—the lie of who we were
conditioned to be. To help others out of unhappiness, we have to help
them see who they are, what they truly want and really need. This is a
totally different for everyone.
The
problem is that, without help, it can be very difficult for people to
get out of their conditioning and discover who they really are. So,
how do we do it?
Awareness
is key. Not only is our
mind conditioned, but conditioning is constantly assaulting us.
When we become aware of conditioning, we can choose to opt out
of it. Doing any kind of personal growth work that focuses on the self
can help tremendously. Counseling
and coaching can also be a great asset to people who want to live a
self-actualized life. As one woman remarked in a weight loss class,
“I blessed my fat every day until it disappeared because it showed
me who I am not and helped me find myself—the real one, the one I
kept hidden all along, safe and protected under all that weight.”
Another
path to awareness is to observe oneself without attachment or
judgment. We are not our mind. Our mind is just a computer we have
been filling up with files all our lives. Worse yet, some of those
files have bad viruses. Always,
we are operating either out of conditioning or enlightened self
interest. With awareness,
we can shift at any moment.
Meditation
is another great way we can get out of that over-identification with
our minds and conditioning. To become still is to become comfortable
in our own skins. The impatience and discomfort people feel when they
start meditation is the same stress that will eventually cause disease
in one’s body if not resolved. Regular meditation discharges stress
energy and brings us face to face with the deeper self, the one that
is unique and magnificent, totally lovable, and has never been
conditioned. This experience cannot be understood by the mind because
it is an internal process.
If
nothing else, listen to your own self-talk. Self-talk is simply a tape
in your head of conditioned responses that keep playing in the
background. The more
judgment that voice carries, the more you are living from conditioning
and not enlightened self-interest. Judgmental people are angry people
who never got to be themselves, so they don’t want anyone else to
have that privilege either. It
is easy to lighten up on others when you lighten up on yourself.
To really be yourself is to be happy.
Jackie Kosednar is a
hypnotherapist, energy medicine practitioner, personal growth trainer,
and the publisher of Alaska Wellness Magazine. She is also the author
of the book, One Miracle After
Another. She can be reached 272-2469 or jackie@alaskawellness.com
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Why
Is My Life Unhappy?
Jackie
Kosednar
…losing
is really winning because what we win is the wisdom to play
better
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A
lot of the unhappiness we create in life comes from expecting life to be
something it isn’t. We have all picked up a lot of false conditioning
about the way life is ‘supposed to’ be. For example, many of us were
indoctrinated early on to believe that life is supposed to be perfect.
Then, we are sadly disappointed when life is simply the way it is. We
become depressed that we can never seem to get it good enough, let alone
perfect.
To
understand something, it is important to study it. We can divide life
into three parts: the game, the story and the process. Moving through
these three parts is the creative energy of life.
The
Game
Everywhere
you look you can see games—from the psychological ‘games people
play’ to board games and sports. Most of us make up games and play
games throughout childhood. Governments play power and war games. As our
brains become more sophisticated, so do our games. Most Americans are
conditioned into the game of Whoever Gets the Most Toys Wins. This game includes a perfect mate,
perfect children, perfect career and enough money for others to envy. It
is most definitely an impossible game to win, and produces shame and
guilt along the way. Let’s see why.
In
the bigger scheme, the game of life consists of opportunities and
possibilities, challenges and problems, and influences. To work with
these, we are given talents and abilities. You could call the game Survive
and Thrive. Life first presents us with an array of opportunities
and possibilities that match our skills and abilities. We have been
given the free will to choose which one we want. Then, we encounter
challenges and problems to solve. Meanwhile, we are moved through the
game by a variety of influences, both good and bad. The biggest one is
our own desire, for we naturally move toward what we want.
If,
while playing the game, we make a mistake, we get to learn a lesson and
increase our skill level. This is why avoiding problems or mistakes also
leads to losing—for no problems or mistakes means no mastery, skill or
wisdom. To succeed in life, problem solving skills are a necessity. And
taking mistakes in stride is a must. Beating ourselves up for mistakes
is a waste of energy and a misplacement of shame and guilt. Another
thing that helps our skill level is not to take life too seriously. Any
good game player will tell you that taking any game too seriously leads
to not having fun anymore, which leads directly to a higher probability
of losing. As a successful poker player told me recently, “I just love
to play. It is just as exciting to lose as it is to win.”
How
life works for most of us is that we win some and we lose some. In the
process of losing comes education and growth. In this sense, losing is
really winning because what we win is the wisdom to play better.
The
Story
Humans
are storytellers. As we live life, we play games and makes up stories
about it. We tell stories to
ourselves and others throughout the day and then go home and watch
stories on TV for our own joy and relaxation. Entertainment isn’t the
second largest industry in the world for nothing. Watch yourself as you
go about your day. Notice all the stories you tell yourself and others.
Are you telling war stories or love stories? Are you talking about
winning and great plays or loss and the misery of defeat? We have
developed the intelligence to create very complicated games and very
creative stories. In addition, our stories can turn from romantic
comedies to tragedies over night.
The
Process
If
you carefully observe life, you may notice that is a perfecting process.
That is, it is always changing and perfecting itself and us. Imagine
yourself as an unfinished painting by a divine hand. Change is the only
constant. In the long run, change is also always for the better.
Heaven
is promised as a place of perfection. In heaven there is no work, no
problems, threats or challenges. It is a state of perfect beingness,
with all the yummy things in life provided.
I am not sure what that would look like, but it seems as if it
might be boring. If life were perfect, there would be no reason for
life. No reason to create and then perfect that creation.
Because of Life’s perfecting process, you can expect everything
to get better and good times to always come again.
In the long run, that is what Life is doing. In a sense, however,
this drive to always make everything better can cause problems: we leave
relationships and jobs, always looking for greener pastures and bigger
wins. It’s as if we have an internal compass that points us toward
‘more and better’.
The
Key to Happiness
The
beauty of life—or curse of life, depending on how you choose to look
at it—is that you can pick the stories, roles and games that you play
in life. These choices become self-fulfilling prophecies. For example,
if you feel like a loser, you will lose. If you tell horror stories,
they will eventually come true. Life
not only has a basic individual pattern for each person, it also adds
energy unto our words and thoughts, and gives us continuous choices.
Imagine creative energy flowing through all your thoughts and words,
always making them come true. This energy constantly offers us choices.
It is in this sense that we co-create life with Life.
A
friend of mine once insisted that we don’t really have free will. If I
truly had free will, he challenged, would I have chosen to lose a child?
It made me think about all the things that I had not chosen in my
life—the things I had no power over. What exactly is free will? What
is this privilege that life supposedly gives us? After meditating, I
came to the conclusion that free will operates in the moment through
choice. We may not get to choose which choices are presented to us,
although they are greatly influenced by whether our thoughts are
negative or positive. One thing you can count on is life will always
continuously offer us choices within our life design.
It
is all of our little choices that shape our lives. These choices either
support our health and well-being or reveal mistakes that give us
valuable lessons to make us better and increase our skill and mastery of
the current game. Mistakes and their lessons are only possible through
choice. We will never not make mistakes. Mistakes are nature’s
learning devices. That’s the way Life perfects us. Life also gives us
intuition to help us make good choices. Life wants us to win.
When
we understand the process, the game, the story and the power we have to
choose, we can create a life that we love instead of being blown around
by the winds of fate. No matter what stories you choose to tell or games
you choose to play, you can let go and lighten up. Life is meant to be
enjoyed.
Jackie
Kosednar is a hypnotherapist, energy medicine practitioner,
spiritual counselor, personal growth trainer, and the publisher of
Alaska Wellness Magazine. She is also the author of ‘One Miracle After
another” and teaches Energy psychology and techniques in all her
workshops. She can be reached at 272-2469 or jackie@alaskawellness.com.
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Operating
Instructions for Human Machines
Jackie
Kosednar
…energy
‘meetings’ can be positive or negative. People often get
sick because they live with the wrong people.
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When
we come into this life, we are given the use of a body and a mind. The
problem is that no one gave us an owner’s manual on how these
wonderful machines work.
Some
say we bring our minds with us as we travel through lifetimes. Others
say that the mind or ‘aura’ is in the electrical field around the
body and stores information energetically, like a computer.
In this sense, the mind carries the energetic blueprint for the
body. But the body definitely belongs to the earth, and will return to
it when our journey is complete. Body and mind are so entwined that
when you affect one you affect the other.
At
the same time, we are neither mind nor body. They are things, and we
are not. So who is really running the body/mind, and how much do they
run themselves?
It
is widely accepted that the body is a machine that runs on
bio-energies. We don’t keep ourselves alive—life keeps us alive.
Not only do chemical reactions that take place within the body produce
energy, there are also energy pathways or highways that run throughout
the body. Just as every
heart is attuned to the universal heartbeat, we are all “plugged
in” to some source of life force that feeds the body and keeps it
alive.
The
science of acupuncture has become more accepted as a powerful healing
tradition. For thousands of years, Chinese doctors found and mapped
the invisible energy wires, pathways or “meridians” that circulate
the life force through the body. Thus, manipulating these energy flows
with physical needles (and via other ways) can achieve health and
freedom from disease. Most holistic healing modalities contain at
least some understanding of the traditional Chinese medical view of
body energy and its flow.
Western
cultures, on the other hand, worship the brain. We place a high value
on education, logic and theory. However, the more we understand about
the brain, the more we see that it is just a research and
entertainment center. It gathers and distributes information. It loves
to create and tell stories. The trouble is that the brain stores a lot
of information that has no basis in truth. It is a computer, after
all. Whatever is programmed into it, the brain holds as true. Only the
body knows the ‘real’ truth. As any energy medicine practitioner
can testify to, lies make the body weak and truth makes it strong. The
more lies you operate from, the sicker you get.
The
brain is also unreliable because it is able to slant and twist data,
exaggerating or minimizing the way we view our experiences (the
entertainment element again). Let’s remember that the brain is an
organ in the body and, like all organs, can be healthy or not. With
this in mind, you could say the brain is no authority when it comes to
decision-making.
On
the other hand, the body is a much more reliable source when it comes
to knowing our best choices. Intuition is of the body, and operates
independently from the brain. Ninety percent of all communication is
non-verbal. The body is a sensing machine that can instantly read the
patterns of energy that our thinking processes are too slow to fully
comprehend.
We
are all heavily conditioned by our own self-talk and the data that our
brains distort and continuously feed back to us. In addition, because
we are very active and dynamic beings, we are continually exchanging
energy and information with others. Our brains are hard-wired into our
minds, constantly feeding it a stream of information and history. The
body is also feeding information into the mind. From this conditioning
field, we are always broadcasting—or sending out invisible signals.
Your energy system can shout out information about you when you walk
into a room. Ask any single person who is seriously looking for a
mate—he or she can usually immediately spot who is available and who
is not.
There
is actually very little privacy in the universe. Everyone knows
everyone else on energetic levels. When we are in the presence of
others, their conditioning field directly affects us. Sometimes we can
be dominated by other people’s energy. Ever wonder why you act like
such a jerk when so-and-so is around? That individual’s body and
mind is directly reacting to yours. Our energy ‘meetings’ can be
positive or negative. People often get sick because they live with the
wrong people. Some people
bring out the best in us and others the worst.
The
body is pre-programmed. Just as you inherited a genetic code based
upon the generations of your ancestors, your body carries all the keys
to your destiny, character, and movement through this movie called
‘Life.’ It is like
being dealt a hand of cards. You
can’t change yourself. Your destiny will arrive whether you like it
or not, just as your blueprint is what it is. You are stubborn or not,
selfish or not, emotional or not, etc. These ‘cards’ provide a
general direction for you: a plan. If we fight the way our energy
wants us to go, we create resistance that leads to misery. Health and
happiness come from self-acceptance. Of course, our strengths are easy
to accept; it’s our character defects that are hard to take. Yet, it
takes tremendous energy to be something you are not. Many times the
cost is ill health.
It
is always best to believe your body. Our brain may doubt things, but
there is always so much happening energetically behind the scenes that
we don’t see. The body is a finely-tuned sensing machine. It knows
when it is safe and when it is not. The body also knows when people
are trustworthy and when they are not. Although the brain may argue
the point, it is not a sensing machine and can only know another
person by comparing that person to its programming (based on every
other person it has ever known). Thus, you can see the big margin for
error!
So
where do you fit into all
this? You
are the one that is always the same, the one that is watching from
behind your eyes right now. You are Spirit, or the witness who gets to
enjoy the show. You are a
passenger who is along for the ride. To be healthy, all three—body,
mind and you—have to be in agreement.
Jackie
Kosednar is a hypnotherapist, energy medicine practitioner,
spiritual counselor, personal growth trainer, and the publisher of
Alaska Wellness Magazine. She is also the author of ‘One Miracle
After another” and teaches Energy psychology and techniques in all
her workshops. She can be reached at 272-2469 or jackie@alaskawellness.com.
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Alchemy of the Soul
by
Nancy Lee-Evans
Paula touches her client
softly, holding her in a reassuring, energetic
embrace of support and love. Cultivating a deep
level of safety, she gently encourages her client,
Joy, to face the abuse she has avoided for 20
years. The difference is that this time Joy is not
alone in that dark room with her uncle. Paula helps
Joy find the words she could not summon up so long
ago. Paula encourages Joy to reclaim her body as her
own, her voice as her instrument of authority.
As Paula then helps to
restructure Joy’s energy field, chakras torn from
the trauma and leading to chronic reproductive
system problems are rebuilt. Joy feels a calm,
open-hearted centeredness that will leave her more
open and confident in her marriage and relationship
with men in general. This is one of many
experiences that Paula and Joy have shared in a
3-year journey of healing and self-discovery in the
Anam Cara Program.
The work is the process of
Soul Alchemy. It comes in a thousand forms—a
thousand stories reflecting the uniqueness of each
soul. While anchored in energy healing, Soul Alchemy
is a much broader process that includes the
exploration of human consciousness, spiritual
awakening, group process, community building and
sacred ceremony as the essential ingredients of
transformation.
Through Soul Alchemy, we
understand the human consciousness element of the
soul on a chakra by chakra basis. In the first
chakra, we explore our heritage; the stories of our
ancestors; our initial nine months with our mothers
as the first and most important of relationships;
and our comfort in our bodies, via individual
rhythms and needs. Rich territory!
The work continues
through the remaining seven chakras exploring the
stages of development and core aspects of identity
and capability held within each. With
awareness comes choice. Many of our students find
their voice and, with it, the empowerment of greater
authenticity.
A strong supportive
community can create an emotional container for real
change. Soul Alchemy has
demonstrated time and again the power of the
community to carry its members through. These
relationships become precious, carrying as they do a
powerful sense of belonging.
Soul Alchemy takes its
potency from a deepening relationship with Spirit.
We are in a constant dialog with Spirit, whether we
know it or not. Through spiritual practices that
foster a direct experience of the divine, that
dialog becomes conscious and our faith grows.
All of our experiences,
feelings, memories and intentions—both good and
bad—process through our energy fields. A healthy
field creates what we need effortlessly, magnetizing
the universe to bring it into manifestation.
Trauma, injuries, toxins and unhealthy physical,
mental and emotional habits interfere with the
functioning of the energy field, resulting in
disease and disharmony in our relationships. The
energy healing skills developed through Soul Alchemy
dramatically enhance the process of healing by
removing energetic blocks and restoring harmony and
balance to our body/mind.
Sacred Ceremony is a last
key in the chain of Soul Alchemy. Through potent
ceremonies such as re-birthing, reclaiming virginity
and the medicine wheel, powerful experiences of the
divine and healing take place. Lives truly change
and souls are reclaimed.
These are the ingredients
of Soul Alchemy. In Paula’s own words, “This work is
my life-line to my soul!”
Nancy Lee-Evans is
director of the Anam Cara Program of Spiritual
Development and Healing. For information about the
program or for a private session call 345-6760 or go to
www.nancylee-evans.com
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Creative
Introspection: How to Look Inside without Criticism
and Doubt
by
Bonnie Murphy
Wow!
2006 is three quarters over. What happened? What have you been
doing that brought you closer to your goals and desires? Have you
been daydreaming about what you’d like to become? Have you written
down some definite goals and imagined yourself reaching them?
Our
imagination is very strong. Perhaps you have personally experienced
bringing about what you think—I know I have. This works both for
positive and negative thought. So, if you are always thinking about
lack then that’s what will happen to you. Change your belief to
abundance and see what comes your way.
If you
change your self-talk, you can change you. If you’ve been playing
inner tapes about yourself that are not supportive and enriching,
then you need to change that and spend your thinking time on
positive thoughts about yourself.
Let’s
talk about fitness since that’s my profession. I’ve heard some of
you say, I can’t do that! I’m too old. If you dwell on the
belief that you are too old, then lo and behold—you’ll be old! When
you open up yourself to accept and try something that is out of your
comfort zone, however, you’ll be amazed at what happens. I keep
saying that we don’t get old and stop playing; rather, we stop
playing and get old.
What
about an old-fashioned game of hopscotch? If you can’t remember
what it is let me refresh your memory. (Or, you can ask your son or
daughter or your grandkids. You can even ask them to play with
you!) Actually, there are many, many variations of this game. What
follows are some basic instructions, but feel free to improvise or
recall your own games of childhood hopscotch.
Draw ten
18” squares on a flat surface (such as a driveway) with sidewalk
chalk. Put some of these boxes side by side and some as singles.
(See diagram for several alternatives.) To play, hop in some squares
with one foot and designate other squares for both feet as a rest
station. Try using your right foot as you go up from square 1 – 10
and then use your left foot as you reverse the order. As a
variation, throw a small stone into square one and go through your
circuit, without touching that square. When finished, toss your
stone into square two and avoid that square, and so on until you
have gone through all 10 squares.
By
playing a game of hop scotch you not only have fun, but you
challenge your balance, help to strengthen and build your bones, and
increase your stamina. How’s that for multitasking?! Why did we stop
playing such a useful, vital game?
How
about the bunny hop? Put on some music—anything with a medium tempo
and a strong beat will do. Push your right foot to the side two
times, then push your left foot to the left side two times—then jump
forward and back with both feet together and then hop 3 times
forward with both feet together. That’s all there is. Get your kids
or grandkids to join in the fun, and repeat as many times as
possible. This dance promotes coordination and really impacts your
bones. If you have knee problems you can improvise—just move to the
music. For something more challenging, try out one of the
interactive dance machines. Recently my friend and I have been going
to the Fireweed Theatre and playing the dance machine there. Some
unimaginative people look at us as if we’re nuts—but we are having
fun and we certainly don’t feel old!
What
about jumping rope or—perhaps more fun—pretend you are jumping
rope? It’s been shown that jumping rope is the best exercise to
reverse and retard osteoporosis. You don’t even need a rope to do
this: just hold your hands at your side and pretend that you are
moving a rope. Man, you can do all sorts of fabulous tricks if you
don’t have to worry about tripping over the rope, right?
Your
exercise program does not have to be dull and mundane. Use your
imagination and have a good time. Above all, don’t forget to
play—it will sure make you feel younger and in no time you’ll be
able to do things you used to do.
Now,
look inwardly and see if there are negative thoughts hiding in there
about you or others. Get them out of there! Why? Because they are
festering in you. You can’t be the fun, dynamic, loving person that
you were created to be when you are harboring hate and feelings of
lack.
Instead, concentrate on all the things that you do have. Think
about what you’ve been able to do during your life. Thank your
creator for your family, friends and your abilities. Think abundant
thoughts and you’d be amazed at the positive things that will
manifest in your life. And—don’t forget to have fun!
Contact Bonnie Murphy
of BFIT and Well for more ideas to keep you young and
vital! Call: 907-646-4076 Email:
bonnie@bfitandwell.com Website:
www.bfitandwell.com
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Go
Slowly
by Catherine Bodry
When my editor asked me to write this issue’s “Editor’s
Notes,” I balked. What do I know about wellness, I thought. My
specialties are comma splices and incomplete sentences. She reminded
me that this issue’s focus is on a conscious approach to health,
nutrition, and healing, and told me to go from there.
As I tried to
determine what I know about health and healing, my thoughts turned to
an accident last summer that I’m still recovering from. I was hit by
a car while riding my bike in the middle of summer, just a month
before my wedding. I broke my ankle. Although everyone reminded me
that I was lucky I wasn’t hurt worse and that it was a clean break,
I didn’t feel lucky. Sure, I knew
I was lucky, but I wasn’t grateful. I was pissed off. I grappled
with getting around and taking care of myself when what I really
wanted to do was go hiking.
Someone,
perhaps my sister, mentioned that maybe this injury was good because
it would force me to slow down. I disagreed. I had a wedding to plan,
a job to work, and races to train for. As someone who tends to stretch
herself too thin, being forced to slow down felt like the worst thing
that could happen. But slow down I did—my recovery forced me to
listen to my body. Suddenly, if I hurt, I couldn’t push myself
through it. I had to ask for help. I had to be aware. My ankle is
still recovering, and I know I still have to hold myself back and
listen to what my ankle tells me I can do.
So, when I
consider conscious approaches to health, my mind doesn’t immediately
conjure up images of healthy eating and vigorous exercise (although
those certainly come to mind eventually!). Instead, I think of slowing
down enough to listen to my body. And thinking about
that reminds me of a nugget I kept with me from a trip to China.
When you leave a restaurant in this country, employees don’t say
“Good-bye;” they say, “Go slowly.” I’ve always thought that
was a brilliant way to address people who have just finished a meal.
That literally, you should take your time and let your food digest.
But on a larger scale it’s also a valuable idea: don’t rush
through your day, your week, your whatever. And it’s especially
relevant not just in our fast-paced society, but also in our Alaskan
summers, where the perfect combination of daylight and mountains
tempts us to push ourselves long and hard.
These
are the thoughts that hit me when I think about taking care of myself,
and what I have to offer to you, reader. As the daylight returns and
you ride that frenzied summer wave of energy, don’t forget to listen
to your body. Absorb all those daylight hours, but don’t run
yourself into the ground. Go slowly.
Catherine
Bodry
is the assistant editor of Alaska Wellness. She is also a teacher,
food server, traveler, hiker, and global citizen. Currently, she calls
Seward home. You can send her email at ilikemountains@hotmail.com
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From
Inner Slavery to Inner Freedom
by Arpana Greenwood
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Whatever
is in your mind, let it be there with consciousness, awareness
and acceptance. |
Whenever his voice becomes lower and louder and uses authoritative
instructions, she gets a piercing look and a squeaky pitch in her
voice. When he sees her look, his voice gets even louder. This couple
has had repeated fights that escalate into angry outbreaks for over 12
years. Although they have received marriage counseling and
participated in numerous relationship workshops, nothing has helped
them change their compulsive loop.
Does
this scenario seem familiar? Do you find yourself feeling the same
emotions over and over again with no apparent choice?
Are
you running yourself or is something running you?
When you watch
a movie at home, you are listening to pre-programmed voices and sounds
that someone has designed. You are taken into a different world. You
automatically experience and feel a full set of mental and emotional
states. Moreover, the light that reflects through the screen and the
sounds you hear through those speakers actually seem real.
Indeed, these
external light and sound effects are just as real to your brain as
inner voices. Both function as triggers—resulting in specific
feelings, responses, and behaviors.
In the
external world, it is easy to say “it’s just a movie” and “not
real.” But are your inner thoughts and emotions not more real than
that movie?
What
is the phenomenon we call emotion?
We all
experience emotions as felt sensations in our body, along with the
appropriate changes in heart rate, sweat, skin moisture, breathing
rates, adrenalin and endorphin levels, and more. These felt senses
inevitably go along with inner images, internal dialogs, and other
sensory experiences. This is the fabric that creates the story we call
reality.
It isn’t the
tactile sensations alone that make us feel depressed or happy. Rather,
our mind translates those stimuli into an interpretation. It is
usually a memory of the past or an internal dialog about what could
happen in the future that are the main factors that create what we
call emotion, which we then experience as horrible or delightful.
When you wear
pink glasses, you see everything in pink. When you have a large funnel
in your ear, everything sounds distorted. Thus, it is not the other
person or outer circumstance that causes emotion but your response to
internal movies or voices.
So, it is not
about stories, because they are countless. The stories of “my
life,” “my money,” “my love” are all similar. It is only the
fabric, the material that makes the story, which we can change.
Stories go on just like dreams. In Sanskrit this phenomenon is called maya,
which means illusion or hallucination.
If we are run
by maya, or inner
hallucinations, the question remains: What is reality? And who
determines reality?
If you
realized you were being run by maya,
wouldn’t you naturally want to run
for freedom?
Our minds
cannot always believe that freedom exists inside of us. But, just as
your inner theatre influences you, you can influence your internal
voices and movies in ways that create new states and experiences. And
you have already done this—thousands of times.
Unlike other
animals, humans have choices. We have more brain capacity, a
frontal/cerebral cortex, and many higher intellectual functions, all
which provide us with abilities to discern and sort. Humans are
designed for excellence.
What’s
the secret to inner freedom?
Here is a
secret you already know: you are not a slave of your mind, but already
free.
Maybe you have
tried different spiritual practices, yogic or martial art techniques,
and meditation, but there was still doubt lurking: “How can I not
only experience and meet my inner freedom but stay connected to it,
regardless of triggers and circumstances?”
Take a moment
and look at whether you are truly ready to move away from being
enslaved by inner programs. Are you ready to move toward inner
freedom? You might expect that your mind will raise doubts. Why?
Because that is its job.
One simple
practice to help you move away from the slavery of your internal movie
theater and critical dialog and toward enhancing inner freedom is to
remember a time when you were able to change your mood—with the snap
of your fingers you could just shift. What did you do on your inside?
There was a change of internal dialog. It happened. You could do it.
Now try the same process with conscious intention.
Notice the
internal dialog that goes along with any damaging emotion. For
example, a nagging slow and low voice that says “I can’t do it.”
As soon as you
become aware of this made-up idea or hallucination, thank yourself for
that awareness. Once you decide not to listen to that depressed,
critical voice anymore, take a deep breath and move your body.
Whatever is in your mind, let it be there with consciousness,
awareness and acceptance.
Daring to meet
the fears which obstruct your inner freedom is a mark of true artistry
and personal excellence. Finding out how to become more proficient at
being the master rather than the slave of your mind brings you closer
to who you truly are.
Overcoming
inner slavery and meeting inner freedom is just as huge as the
Emancipation Proclamation—maybe bigger. We especially need inner
freedom at a time when society destroys itself with wars and
disappears behind the conditionings of enslaving its members every
day.
Let’s
get back to the end of the story of the couple enmeshed in their
emotional trap. Both engaged in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Inner
Freedom practices. She learned to recognize the trigger evoked by his
voice and go to a calm inner place. He learned to identify when he
goes into his “emotional anger trance” and, instead, perform a
simple yet powerful inner shift, allowing him to pause, refresh, and
walk away. This couple has overcome the slavery of their emotional
patterns and successfully reached a new, inner freedom.
Arpana
Greenwood,
German ND and certifying Trainer in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, has
a 25-year background in Eastern and Western spiritual teachings. See www.conscioussolutions.com
for her new event series: Meeting Inner Freedom.
|
The
Need for Inner Growth
by Vesta
|
Caught
in an ever-expanding sea of electronic distractions, we slip
farther away from our true natures and inner voice. |
As I have grown older,
I’ve found it not only healthy but necessary
to spend a little time each day in quiet solitude. Why?
The answer is simple…
In our
computerized, fast-paced, cell-phone-ringing-world, many of us have
forgotten who we really are and what it is we are really here for.
Caught in an ever-expanding sea of electronic distractions, we slip
farther away from our true natures and inner voice. Instead of being
ourselves, we live out a robotic lifestyle that we ourselves have
created.
I have come to
find outside diversions a severe detriment to my inner healing. Issues
from the ‘daily grind’—as well as from past wounds—pile on top
of each other without proper time for true healing and
acknowledgement. Indeed, years of growth can be stunted because of
such a “hurry up and get over it” lifestyle.
Few people can
afford to take off from work in order to face their pain or fears so
that they can grow and become a better person. This is why finding
ways we can nourish ourselves in our free time is of dire importance.
I often book time out on my itinerary for “me”. I feel this is
mandatory if I am to continue to help others. For how can I give to
another if I cannot give to myself?
In quiet, I
can remember my spirit and what I am really about. I can allow myself
space and time to nurture within—even when all about seems nothing
but a negative focus from news and world issues. Lost love, medical
problems, a job we loathe, a difficult boss, insane time schedules,
grieving the loss of our beautiful earth or the direction government
leaders have taken us: any one of these is enough to trigger severe
emotional and physical duress. Without proper healing time, this can
only aggravate our bodily systems, thus easily leading to dis-ease.
It is common
to quickly soothe discomfort with a fast fix such as unhealthy food
and drink or other harmful choices. But bad choices only serve to
create more stress on our bodies—thus creating further misery and/or
addictions. At these times we must remember that our bodies are truly all
we have and this precious gift must be taken care of at all costs.
Nothing is more important than our health!
I often hear
the common excuse, “I can’t afford the time” or “I can’t
afford quality food or organic products.” What we really need to ask
ourselves, however, is: “Can I afford to lose my health?” Did you
know that many organic products actually last longer than most
conventional products? In fact, almost all conventional products are
made so that we, the buyers,
will purchase more in less time,
thus supporting the many corporations that are responsible for the
current state that our planet is in.
If we cannot
make corporations environmentally and socially responsible, then who
will be responsible? Can I? Can you? Supporting local businesses and
organics is not only the first step towards independence from the
global madness that has continued to lower our paychecks, increase our
bills, and keep us in a perpetual state of dependence, but it is also
the first step to taking care of the you within.
When we begin
to kindly turn down obligations that tax our energy, then we allow the
space, freedom and energy to create more positive joy in our lives.
When we resolve to make wiser decisions in regards to the foods we eat
and the products we use, then we take control of our own health and
the health of our planet. When we decide that we are tired of a
robotic lifestyle and we miss the camaraderie of “community,” then
we set goals towards supporting less
WalMart and supporting more
small businesses in which we can truly get to know our neighbors. In
turn, we all help each other in the long run.
But
first things first. Go within and know thyself. Being kind to
ourselves also reminds us to be kind to others and to the world around
us. Give it a try. You might be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.
Vesta
can be reached at 562-2888 or visit www.OrganicHairDesign.com.
Studio hours are by appointment only.
|
|
A
Continuing Series on Natural Laws
Part
Two: The Laws of Alignment, Change, Entropy, and Opportunity
by Jackie Kosednar
|
It
is the fear of change that creates our desire to control the
world. If you are a controlling person, you probably fear change. |
Last issue, while discussing the way life works, we explored two laws:
the Law of Unity and Exchange and the Law of Balance. (If you missed
this article you can find it at www.alaskawellness.com.)
If you have struggles and conflicts which cause you to feel powerless,
see if working with the following laws—instead of against
them—makes your life easier.
The
Law of Alignment
Every physical
body is energetically propelled through life along natural courses.
Think of the magnetic pull of gravity that keeps us stuck to the earth
like a magnet to the refrigerator. Or, the force that keeps the earth
rotating around the sun.
In religious
philosophy this is translated into “Every soul has a path to
walk”. Indeed, “letting go and letting God” allows us to
surrender to a sense of natural direction instead of going against it.
Everyone is guided in the direction that is natural for their design,
health and wellness—whether they are religious or not.
Alignment
creates bonds that hold bodies together. When two people bond, their
life paths are pulled into a parallel position. The two are held
together by magnetic attraction and may flow as one. Bodies in a
synergistic relationship are a beautiful thing.
The sum is
always greater than its parts. When we align with something, more is
created. The two that align are greater in unity than two that are
not. When we are aligned with our own life path, we prosper. We end up
in the right place at the right time, meeting the right people and the
right opportunities. I like to imagine that we all have a divine light
beam that pulls us through life. When we agree to the magnetic pull,
everything is easier. When we go against it, life can get very
challenging and uncomfortable; we may even make ourselves sick.
When we are off course, life doesn’t work well for us.
The
Law of Change
Energy is
always in motion and changing form. This means, of course, that
everything in life is always changing—including you. If you try to
resist change, you suffer. In the larger picture, you can’t really
resist change. Universal forces are so much bigger than you are that
it is totally futile to try and keep things the same. It is the same
when you try to force or cause change to happen, for you meet
tremendous resistance. It is the fear of change that creates our
desire to control the world. If you are a controlling person, you
probably fear change. Letting go of fear allows you to give up
control.
The
Law of Entropy
Everything in
the physical universe is born, grows to maturity and then breaks down.
Things start, then change, then stop or move into disorder. This means
everything is temporary. Now, this can be a very scary realization:
nothing is permanent or lasting.
Let us look at
this from a different perspective, however. In a mystical sense you
could say that God (Intelligent Energy) creates a form out of itself.
When the form is complete, God then deserts the form in order to
create something new. Energy never dies—it only transforms. It stops
being one thing to become something else!
Likewise, an
artist creates a statue from a piece of rock. In the process of
creating the statue, many rock chips fall to the floor as waste. A
couple hundred years later the artist is long gone and the whole
statue is crumbling. The blueprint of the rock and the statue both
fall into entropy. Thus, order always moves to chaos and disorder.
The
Law of Choice and Opportunity
Free will
really is a fallacy when you consider that we are governed by so many
natural forces. We do not have free will; rather, what we have is
choice in the moment. Where each of us is going is predetermined. It
must be to keep the balance of a world in which 600 billion people
live, all of us interdependent for food and life’s necessities.
Every day, hundreds of thousands of people are born or die. We come
and we go.
Choices and
opportunities present themselves moment-by-moment. Some choices hover
around whether we choose or not; then they move on.
You can’t get through life without picking and choosing.
Choice is always present. When choices are made from an inner
authority, they will be the best ones to further our self-expression
and success in life at fulfilling our purpose. Such choices put us
into a state of well-being, balance and general happiness.
Choices are
like switches that change our direction in space. Not every
opportunity is correct; some choices can really take us off course and
into a swamp we then have to fight our way out of, to get back on
course. The reward of struggle is strength. When you make your choices
from your inner authority, you will make the best choice. When you
make your choices from an outer authority, there is a big margin for
error.
Even so,
choice is a wondrous mechanism. Everyone has an ‘inner authority’
within the body that is linked to a kind of directional device. Call
it intuition, instinct or divine guidance. Its presence is like the
reviving of your engine or a viewpoint over time, for it will take you
closer to health and fulfillment. With some of us, our first choice is
the best choice. Others need to “sleep on” choice because they
only get clarity over time. Often we have to wait for our inner
authority in order to move. In this fast world we want fast results
and condition people to be decisive—Make
your decision now! If your inner authority is fast and based in
the now, that quick decision may work for you. For those whose inner
authority is slower, however, waiting is more appropriate. Either way,
once you begin to look within for the answers, the choices you make
will be the best.
Outer
authority can never know what is best for you. So stop believing that
others know the answer. Outer authority is not living your life. It
doesn’t know your destiny. Only you know you! And you know from an
inner place—from your own authority—what is best for you. So,
trust yourself and own your authority.
Next
issue: The Law of Good; the Law of Supply (Giving or Contribution);
the Law of Forgiveness; and the Law of Cause and Effect.
Jackie
Kosednar
is a hypnotherapist, energy-medicine practitioner, human design
analyst, and the publisher of Alaska Wellness Magazine. She is also
the author of ‘One Miracle After Another”. She can be reached at
272-2469 or jackie@alaskawellness.com
|
|
A Continuing Series on Natural Laws
Part
Three: The Laws of Good, Supply, Forgiveness, Cause and Effect
by Jackie Kosednar
|
Life
expects us to make mistakes. Mistakes are the learning devices
that life turns into wisdom and experience.
|
Last issue we
explored four natural laws of life: the Law of Alignment or Bonding,
the Law of Change, the Law of Entropy, and the Law of Choice and
Opportunity. (If you missed this article, you can find it online at www.alaskwellness.com).
If you have struggles and conflicts that cause you to feel powerless
in life, see if working with the natural laws instead of against them
makes your life easier while releasing unwanted drama.
The
Law of Good: More and Better
Life is
naturally good. The
nature of life is to create and recreate, to build and perfect. Life
itself is a perfecting process never designed to actually be perfect.
In the natural order, everything is getting better and better. There
is something within us that strives for something better no matter how
good we have it. Desire keeps us alive and developing.
Some call this
evolution. As things evolve they become better or more. From mud huts
to mansions, it is easy to see how much nicer indoor toilets are for
everyone. Life is getting easier, more interesting and more
entertaining all the time. If you look back through history you can
see the secret laws of life at work. When really bad things happened,
really good things came out of it. Progress was accelerated. Life
makes lemonade out of lemons all the time. You can see how this
natural law is exploited in the media with promises of more and
better. But one thing you can always count on is that things will
improve. They always do. Everything is always trying to get better,
including you.
The reason why
we sometimes can’t see that life is naturally good is because we pay
so much attention to the bad and very little to the good. We take the
good for granted. The mind picks out anything that might threaten it
and magnifies it. It will often keep the undesirable on the forefront
of our consciousness until it is no longer a threat. Good is so normal
and natural that some people actually need to be taught to count their
blessings, for they can’t see them. If life were naturally bad, it
would destroy itself. If life were naturally bad, the good would stick
out like a sore thumb. Everyone has a storm now and then, but balance
is the norm; the sun is always shining up there somewhere.
The
Law of Supply (Giving or Contribution)
Life
automatically supplies us with what we need to live our design and
complete our mission or purpose in life. We all have a job to do:
talents to perfect, skills to develop. Life will propel us toward the
best place to fulfill our potential and receive our supply. There is
no set pay for any job. Each is paid what they believe they are worth.
That doesn’t
mean we are all supposed to be rich. That would upset the balance. We
are designed to have more than enough.
Everyone contributes in some way. Everyone flows energy through
themselves. Everyone works for, builds, perfects, or maintains life—the
whole. If there were no sick people, there would be a lot of people
who wouldn’t have jobs or anything to study. Some people are here to
give other people jobs. Others are here to manage the wealth of the
community. They need to be paid more so they can spread it around.
We all serve
each other—from the food on our table, to the entertainment we watch
on television. Maybe watching TV is a valuable contribution because it
allows talented people to keep contributing their talent. So, relax:
do your job. Notice that life wants you provided for, entertained, and
educated. The only one that withholds anything from you is usually
you.
The
Law of Forgiveness
Life forgives
everyone for everything all the time. Justice is blind because life is
a perfecting process that doesn’t hold grudges.
Hey, that’s
not very fair, is it? Well, life is not fair. If we expect life to be
fair we will always be disappointed. Life doesn’t place conditions
on us. Life doesn’t punish us either. It grants permission to
everyone to go forth and make as many mistakes as needed. Remember,
life is a perfecting process. If you don’t get wisdom and experience to make you better,
you get to repeat the mistake.
Mistakes are a
part of the natural order. Life expects us to make mistakes. Mistakes
are the learning devices that life turns into wisdom and experience.
After all, practice makes perfect. But perfect is not something that
lasts. Why? Because you can always make it better or transform it into
something else.
We hold our
mistakes against ourselves from the mistaken idea that we are supposed
to be perfect, instead of merely perfecting. Then we get into a
downward spiral of punishing others and ourselves constantly for
‘not being’ something we are not designed to be: perfect. So, let yourself off the hook. Admit
that everyone is imperfect. Drop the shame and guilt. Work to forgive yourself—and
others. Only then do you get the wisdom. Since energy never dies
(it only transforms), sooner or later you have to get on with the
journey. You have forever to get it right.
Law
of Cause and Effect
Every cause
has an equal and corresponding effect. If you throw a rock into a
pond, ripples flow outward. If the ripples hit a rock, they bounce off
and more ripples are created. If the ripples hit a wall of rock, their
reverberating waves will come back at you.
This is also
the law of karma. In short, what you give out is what you get back in
some way, shape or form. Or, “It is done unto us as we do unto
others.” This is true unless we learned a lesson and were forgiven.
And this is the place where the Laws of Motion/Action join with the
Laws of Mind…
To
be continued: The last article of this series will address the much
loved Laws of Mind. We will explore how your mind can be your greatest
curse or your greatest blessing.
Jackie
Kosednar
is a hypnotherapist, energy medicine practitioner, human design
analyst, and the publisher of Alaska Wellness Magazine. She teaches
workshops on weight loss, mastering depression and Human Design.
Contact: 272-2469 or jackie@alaskawellness.com
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