Healing Family Conflict

A Change Of Perspective: My Introduction to Tibetan Shamanism
by Morgan Grey

 

The prospect of intentionally taking poisons into my body and then allowing myself to be devoured by ghosts -- even if it was "only" my spirit body in a shamanic journey -- was pretty daunting at first.

The main character in the movie The Sixth Sense is a little boy who is terrorized by ghosts until a psychologist helps him learn how to deal with them. As I recently learned, this little boy is more than just a kid who sees ghosts. He is a shaman whose work is to assist the spirits of the dead in letting go of this world, and, in all likelihood, the ghosts are actually seeking his assistance. The worldview underlying this story is shared by shamans throughout South Asia, including Tibet and Nepal.

Last fall, I was able to experience that worldview in two workshops on Tibetan shamanism led by Larry Peters. Dr. Peters is an initiated shaman in the Tibetan tradition with over 20 years of direct experience with Tibetan/Tamang shamans. He leads experiential initiation pilgrimages to Nepal, and is a research associate for the Foundation for Shamanic Studies and licensed psychotherapist.

Underlying the Buddhist cultures of Tibet and Nepal is the far more ancient tradition of Bön-po shamanism. The practice of shamanism continues to flourish, co-existing with Buddhism and Western medicine, and is an integral part of the social structure. Shamans are part of the health care system in Nepal. Shamans distinguish between "natural" illnesses -- those caused by natural forces, which can be successfully treated by Western medicine -- and illnesses caused by spirits, which are treated by shamans.

Dr. Peters is a skilled interpreter of cultural concepts that can be quite foreign to the average Westerner. By providing just enough information to grasp these concepts, he allows participants to gain first-hand experience and personal understanding by reframing initiatory rituals as shamanic journeys.

The first workshop I attended was an exploration of the cosmology of Tibetan shamanism. As in most shamanic traditions, there are three multi-leveled worlds in non-ordinary reality. The upper world is ruled by deities; the lower world is ruled by serpents. The middle world consists of four directions.

Much of the shaman's work is performed in the middle world, which is home to many spirits that cause human suffering. In shamanic journeys, we explored the lands of the middle world and learned about the three "poisons," or states of consciousness that hinder the search for truth. Indra Lok (the East) is characterized by lust, greed, and attachment; Raksas Lok (the West) by anger and revenge. Yama Lok (the South) is the home of the Lord of Death and is characterized by helplessness, despair, and victimization. In Devi Lok (the North), we met the Goddess of Compassion, and learned that loving kindness, tolerance, compassion, and mercy are the only real antidote to the three poisons.

One of the most powerful experiences of the workshop was a ritual called chöd, which is similar to the Buddhist practice of Tong-Len. The Tamang people believe that ghosts are major causes of illness and suffering. Ghosts can earn karmic points by "cleaning up" messes they have caused, thereby winning their release from this world. The act of performing chöd also provides healing for the community, the planet, and the one performing the ritual. The fascinating paradox of chöd is that the shaman must sacrifice his/her own body, using it to absorb the energies of suffering and then offer it for the ghosts to feast upon. As they feast upon (and transform) the poisons of the world, the ghosts grow lighter and eventually float away from their earthbound existence.

The prospect of intentionally taking poisons into my body and then allowing myself to be devoured by ghosts -- even if it was "only" my spirit body in a shamanic journey -- was pretty daunting at first. I considered using an alternative method, which was to collect the negative energy and make it into a cake for the ghosts to feast upon. Once in the journey, however, the first method felt right. The experience proved to be powerfully transforming, a healing for the community, the spirits, and for myself. According to Dr. Peters, chöd is the highest initiation for a shaman, and is done many times, especially at the New Year, when it cleans the planet. Some shamanic practitioners in Anchorage are beginning to use chöd to heal the community and the planet.

Tamang shamans are initiated by a spirit called the Ban Jhakri, or "Forest Shaman," and his wife. We made several journeys to meet them, and they became important teachers for us. As an interesting sidenote, Ban Jhakri is also the Nepali word for the smallest type of yeti, so it appears that yetis do exist, at least in the spirit world.

The second workshop focused on advanced healing and psychopomp work. "Psychopomp" means leader of souls, and refers to a shaman who, like the boy in The Sixth Sense, assists the spirits of the dead who need to move on.

We learned a major healing ritual known as Karga Puja, which is based on an astrological system in which the spirits of the planets are believed to affect human lives by causing illness and bad luck. Karga Puja is used to bring a person back into right relationship with both the planets and with the human community. In this ritual, the shaman transfers the person's illness into an effigy by means of a rainbow-colored string. When the transfer is complete, the string is cut, thereby preventing the illness from returning to the person. The effigy is offered in place of the person as a sacrifice to appease the planets. The workshops ended in a public ceremony, during which we performed Karga Puja for volunteers from among those attending.

These workshops were powerful transformative experiences for the other participants and myself. Through the many initiatory journeys, I experienced significant personal healing of very old wounds, and a deepening of my own practice of shamanism. I returned to my daily life with a transformed worldview and a commitment to expanding the practice of compassion in all aspects of my life.

Morgan Grey is a shamanic practitioner and co-leads a shamanic drumming circle in Anchorage. For more information, call 566-6246.

Shamanic Ceremonies
by Jade Wah'oo Grigori

 

The time of secrets is over.

Shamanism is humanity's oldest and most enduring spiritual practice. It has existed since the development of conscious cooperative communities, or tribes, extending back to the first offerings of flowers upon the graves of Neanderthal peoples. The primary reason that shamanism has been with us as an integral part of our evolution is because it works and does what it is intended to do: re-establish balance and harmony within ourselves in relationship to the natural order of creation.

There is nothing mystical about shamanism. The shamanic time-honored practices are founded upon the spiritual application of physics, just as the technological developments and perspectives of material culture are based upon the scientific application of physics. In fact, the principles upon which all shamanic practices are based are found in quantum physics. This elder of spiritual forms is in the forefront of today's rapidly expanding field of healing and spiritual awakening methodologies. There is a coherence and consistency with the underlying principles of natural law that enables shamanic practices to be readily observed, understood and replicated.

The unique initiation of the shaman is that of death-by-intent. Shamans-to-be undergo a full physical cessation of life, pass to the other side, receive a vision of creation and a particular power inherent within that vision. While maintaining full awareness, the shaman must then return to the physical body and use the gifted power to revive the body, healing it of that which brought about one's death. Literally, the shaman dies, goes to the other side and then reincarnates in the same physical body. This enables we shamans to remember who we are, from whence we came and to know our spirit's purpose. The power is then dedicated to the worldly fulfillment of the vision, which is always one of integrative benefit to humanity.

My own relationship to shamanism began at five years of age when I died as the result of a broken neck. Moments later -- after an eternity on the other side -- I returned to life after healing the fatal injury. From that moment forth, I began an intensive understudy with the ancestral spirits of my family and those of my Mongolian heritage learning to work the weather, communicate freely with the spirits of the earth and sky, 'seeing' (spiritual diagnosis) and healing, among other practices.

In 1974, at 24 years of age, I was in the midst of my life as a nomadic hunter/gatherer, living on horseback in the Southern Rocky Mountains. I met an old man who was to become my adopted grandfather and mentor. Juan Pena, an elder of the San Juan Pueblo, lived in the hinterlands of the Southern Ute Reservation, the land of his wife's people. He had been told by Eagle Brother/First Shaman that someone would come to his door on a specific day and offer him assistance. Grampa Pena was to pass on to that individual the Caretakership of 'the Ways', as he referred to the Shamanic practices. He then acknowledged that I was that person. Thus began my formal apprenticeship, an intensive period of training and further initiations which lasted for the next eight years -- the last eight years of my Grampa's life. With Grampa's passing in 1982, at 104 years of age, the Caretakership of 'the Ways' became my sole and lifelong responsibility, as a sacred trust on behalf of the peoples.

Since those formative experiences of my youth, the subsequent decades of practice have led me into many realms of Spirit, earned me an understanding of the underlying principles of reality and the effective utilization of that knowledge to carry forth the instruction which Eagle Brother/First Shaman gave me as my own mission: to bring 'the Ways' forth to all peoples. The time of secrets was over. The reason for their being held in reserve was to insure that they would still be here in the time of the Purification. That time is now and we -- you and I -- are the purifiers of this era. In humbleness, I carry these teachings forth to the people who would receive them with sincerity, and that through their application we each might find assistance to fulfill our path of self-realization.

First and foremost, the practices of shamanism are to assist the individual in bringing a closer relationship of the body/mind consciousness with the awareness of spirit. It is where there is a gap between the two that dysfunction, disease and discord reside. The methodologies of shamanic ceremony narrow and even close that gap. As a consequence, debilitations tend to disappear; though this is considered to be a secondary phenomenon, the primary being that of the reestablishing balance and harmony in the life of the individual.

Where myth is the reality of the soul, and history the reality of the mundane world, the intent of ceremony constructs a bridge that spans the barriers we have created between our life and soul, allowing the free traverse of our soul into conscious embodied life and the movement of our attention into the realms of the soul. Ceremony is the vehicle to bring about integration for a fuller function of our multi-dimensional selves.

There are many ceremonials that facilitate the integration and healing of our spiritual condition. Soul retrieval is called for when the individual is experiencing difficulty with dreams and where there is memory dysfunction and lack of energy. Soul cleansing is the ancient shamanic practice of drawing an egg over the body of the person, withdrawing emotional congestion, malevolent influence or invasive presences from within the person's body, mind and soul.

Another highly effective treatment is the extraction of entities transmitted by the perpetrator of abuse upon the client. Here, the deep understanding of the bio-physical responses of our instinctual body to the presence of these entities, or 'spiritual parasites,' reveals the cause of our moving into states of separation and withdrawal, both socially and sexually, from the world, sabotage of our intimate relationships, sliding into states of depression, anxiety and panic attacks, alcohol and substance abuse, disrupted health, especially immune dysfunction, and suicidal thoughts. These conditions are all symptoms of the presence of spiritual parasites that can be removed by means of shamanic treatment. When the spiritual parasites are removed, there is nothing left to trigger the instinctual response of self-destruction, which is an attempt to rid ourself of the danger posed by these parasites to the loved ones around us.

Other shamanic ceremonials, such as the Spirit Horse ceremony, provide each participant the means of actualizing a journey of spirit to clear the path within of all obstacles and impediments to the manifestation of our true heart's desire. This ancient and powerful ceremony has been passed down for over 7,000 years from my Mongolian ancestors to the present.

The consequence of shamanic ceremonial healing is freedom! Shamanic ceremony is a living, breathing dance in response to an alive and aware creation. It is this open responsiveness which prevents shamanism from getting bogged down in dogma and doctrine, allowing 'the Ways' to meet an ever-changing set of circumstance, society and need.

Jade Wah'oo Grigori is the Caretaker of 'the Ways'. See Jade's website at: www.Shamanic.net

 

Healing Family Conflict:

Using Ancient Methods to Solve Modern Day Disputes

 

by Bob Martin

 

Tribal cultures do not see conflict as involving only the people with a disagreement. Rather, it involves the whole village.

Have you tried to resolve deep-seated family conflicts through compromise? Typically fails, doesn't it? In my search for a model that would be more effective, I looked to shamanic cultures to see how they resolved conflict.

Through the work of internationally acclaimed peace-making shaman

Myron Eshowsky and others, I discovered that tribal customs of conflict resolution actually translate very well into modern culture. Elements of these ancient beliefs include: (1) restoring balance/harmony to spirit of place; (2) understanding that "compromise" and "conflict resolution" are not the same thing; and (3) understanding that conflict is not restricted to those directly involved—rather, conflict affects everyone in the community. Further, most resolution typically involves something emotionally/psychologically/spiritually being released and or healed.

Shamanic cultures believe all things possess spirit. This includes humans, other animals, trees, rocks, waterfalls, mountains and places, in addition to houses, cars and computers. Since we are spiritual beings and the places we occupy have spirits, it makes sense that we influence one another. Our actions affect the spirit of place just as the spirit of place affects us.

As a real estate agent, I often hear people remark that a particular house or property does not feel right.  Many explanations may be offered for this, from the odor of the house to the functionality of the floor plan.  But allow for a moment that there is an intangible piece to it as well—that the spirit of the house lacks harmony.  We have all experienced a "power place" that brings us into balance or peace.  And we have all been to places that make the hair stand up on the back of our necks.

Spirit of Place

Spirit of place holds the history of everything that was experienced there: trauma, soul loss, and shame.  Places can also be populated by disembodied spirits of those who have died and not crossed over. Tribal cultures believe that these "ghosts" cause trouble because of their grief, anger, sadness or confusion at their situation. If the spirit of place is not in balance, its disharmony affects our endeavors in that space.

Caroline Myss speaks of a town in the Ukraine where the Nazis gathered up all the Jews into the local synagogue and set it on fire, killing those inside. Years later, a complex of nuclear reactors was built in that same area. On the very site where the synagogue was burned, a bigger fire occurred. The place was Chernobyl and of all the nuclear reactors built there, the one built atop the former synagogue was the one that melted down.

Shamanic cultures know that the best and most lasting peace-making efforts have involved first healing the spirit of place. They approach a place in which they are going to live, play or work with humility by expressing gratitude, asking permission and stating their intention. If the spirit of place is not in harmony, they ask: "What has happened here?" Once they learn what is out of balance, they can do a ceremony to heal that spirit.

Compromise vs. Conflict Resolution

In Western cultures, approaches to resolving conflict focus primarily on communication by the aggrieved parties, followed by negotiation, compromise, and agreement. The emphasis is on outcome—or, resolution.

In practice, compromise can leave seeds which bud into future conflict. Since many of the conflicts are polarized and seldom resolved, they can fester into larger ones. An easy example of this is divorce where fighting between divorced partners can continue involving other parties such as children, former friends, family, etc.

Conflict actually involves a wide variety of many different elements. For example, it may include undercurrents in which there is usually much more going on than we can see. Often, there is this hidden part to the conflict, and those in disagreement are not fighting about the real issue. Another element involved in conflict is the persistence of old family systems. Quite frequently, family traumas will reverberate through several generations—and, many times without the current generation knowing that the original trauma transpired. Yet another element of conflict may stem from unexpressed grief.

Conflict Resolution Includes Everyone

Tribal cultures do not see conflict as involving only the people with a disagreement. Rather, it involves the whole village. In order to have lasting peace, the whole community must be involved with its resolution.

Malidoma Some, a fully initiated Shaman of the Dagara Tribe of West Central Africa, observes: "Indigenous societies concede the existence of conflict but view it as something of importance and interest to the community. The conflict is some sort of message directed to the entire community but expressed through the individuals embroiled in the conflict. Interpersonal conflict is therefore not interpersonal to the indigenous; all conflict is community conflict. The message for the community lies behind the friction two people are experiencing and must be assimilated and resolved successfully to serve the greater good of the community."

Resolution

Shamanic communities understand that for true resolution to occur, something needs to be released. These communities know to let go of specific desires for outcome when resolving conflicts. They detach from what they think the resolution should look like and focus on letting the solution emerge naturally from the process.

Historically, tribal cultures follow this rough outline:

1)  Combatants meet with the elders or the shaman. Each tells their version of the story. Combatants are encouraged to speak their hearts, to stand in their own truth and focus on emotional release.

2)  If the issue is not resolved, a ceremony is designed that creates a safe place for the combatants to argue, yell and scream, but all without physical violence. The village stands in mute witness to this process. A point is reached when a catharsis occurs: something is released by both parties. The community then speaks up, verbalizing the importance of the conflicted parties to the tribe, while playing a key role of support and personal affirmation.

3)  If there still isn't resolution, then the elders derive some sort of prescription. This may involve putting opposing parties side by side and having them work on a project together. Often, their collaboration will resolve the conflict.

Modern Ceremonies

Fortunately, the importance of these ancient methods of conflict resolution has not been lost on those seeking lasting peace in today's world. Family therapists and business consultants alike have begun to use new shamanic techniques designed to heal the Spirit of place and restore balance to individuals and communities in conflict.

While the conflict resolution ceremonies should be held by someone with training and experience with the techniques, there are several things that families can do on their own.

The easiest and most important step is to work with the Spirit of place. For shamans, everything starts with intention. This means stating why it is you are here and what it is you want to accomplish. You can begin this by meditating or clearing your mind and sending out your thoughts. Introduce yourself to the Spirit of place, thank it for allowing you to be there and ask it if there is anything it needs. You may feel a flash of insight or hear a voice coming up from inside you. Pay attention to what you are told or sense. The Spirit may ask that you perform a small ceremony to honor it or it may just ask that you plant some flowers. Typically, the message you receive will be simple and elegant.

You may not hear or sense anything and that is just fine. The Spirit of place will be happy that you even took the time to try. Whatever your experience, continue to build on the relationship by expressing gratitude for all the many things that our homes and land offer us.

The next step is to clear the space in your home. Shamans believe that words and thoughts have energy. After a fight or heated exchange, this energy can become stuck inside our homes. Almost all shamanic cultures have a ceremony designed to rid our living areas of any energy that might have settled in the corners or closets. Many Native Americans, for example, will open windows and doors and then “smudge” the entire house by burning sage. The sage acts as a powerful purifier to dislodge that which needs to go. People in Bali do something similar to cleanse their homes, though instead of burning sage, they circle the interiors of their homes ringing bells, pounding on pans and beating drums.

Whatever clearing you choose, it is important to focus on intention and whenever you begin the process, announce that you are present to cleanse your home. Many people will find that after taking these initial steps to meet the Spirit of place and cleanse their house, the overall feeling of their home will shift dramatically. It is hard for conflict to take root in a place where the Spirit is in harmony.

The next step is to realize that despite your desire not to become involved in a particular conflict of the home, you already are involved. Practice shifting your outlook from focusing on what is going on between the participants in the conflict to looking at how the whole household (community) might be supporting their disagreement.

Finally, offer those involved the chance to talk it out with the rest of the community (family) listening. For example, the Yanomami tribe of southern Venezuela and northern Brazil use a form of ceremonial dialogue called wayamou. Once night falls, the dialogue begins. They argue, with full and open expressiveness, saying what they need to say. As each takes a turn speaking, the listener must simply listen and await his or her turn to speak out. The volume and tempo of the exchange tends to move in waves. At some point, however, there is a calming and the anger subsides. The ceremony always ends at the beginning of the new day's light, after which there is a gift exchange and sharing of food.

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, there are some excellent resources. Author and teacher Myron Eshowsky helped form Pathways Foundation for Peace and Healing (www.peacehealing.org). His workshops and healing ceremonies help resolve conflict in both family and international settings. Myron’s thoughts on conflict resolution can also be found online at Community Shamanism (www.communityshamanism.com). In addition, Malidoma Some of the Dagara Tribe of West Central Africa (and the holder of two PhD's from the Sorbonne in Paris and Brandies University in Boston) travels and teaches throughout the world. You can learn more about Malidoma and his workshops at www.malidoma.com

Bob Martin is a shamanic practitioner and co-founder of the World Tree Foundation (www.world-tree.org), created to promote the practice and education of shamanism in Southcentral Alaska. For information, call 229-8681 or write rdmartin@alaska.net.