Return to Home Page I Want To Be More Spiritual
But Real Life Keeps Getting In My Way
[ January/February 2002 ]

I Want To Be More Spiritual
But Real Life Keeps Getting In My Way

by Delisa Renideo

You can change your life by changing your thinking


Work, commuting, kids, meetings, household chores, holiday visitors, decorating, baking, shopping, and entertaining . . . Whew! It's hard to keep up with it all, much less get everything done. I would like to meditate and be more spiritual. Maybe I could join an ashram or monastery. But who would take care of my kids? How can I be more spiritual and still participate in real life?

This is a real dilemma. Most of us have busy lives and can't conceive of how to take the time to meditate, contemplate, or read spiritual literature. If we do, it often means getting up at 4 a.m. while the house is still quiet to fit our spiritual activities in before "real life" takes over for the day. Then we're ready to collapse by 8:30 p.m.

It's not only busy schedules that get in the way of our spirituality. It is also our baggage: old belief systems, resentments and insecurities left over from the past; difficult relationships with our spouse, children, co-workers or boss; health problems; financial concerns; and distress over world events. How can we be spiritual when we are arguing with our kids over bedtimes, feeling the ache of rejection when our spouse tells us it is time to move on, or watching the evening news when yet another outbreak of violence is reported?

What many of us do is compartmentalize our lives. If we are very committed and disciplined, we might carve some time out of our day to meditate and pray, attend church on Sundays or participate in a study group. But the rest of the time is usually focused on dealing with "real life."

There is another way to be spiritual and have an active life. It involves integrating spirituality into our everyday lives rather than limiting our spiritual activities to whatever time we can set aside. It is a holistic approach that integrates our physical, emotional, and spiritual lives. The good news is that we can do it. The challenge is that it requires becoming more conscious and making changes in every part of our lives. Many of these changes are subtle, yet profound. They are changes in our perspective and response to life events. Some of the changes are behavioral and require some significant shifts in how we spend our time. All of the changes require real intention and commitment to follow through.

It can feel overwhelming to contemplate changing life so significantly. Therefore, an important element in this process is finding support. This support could come from friends who share your commitment to integrate spirituality; from a church or study group; from a minister or other spiritual leader; or from a counselor who has an understanding of the value of spirituality. Wherever you find this support, a spiritual mentor will be a tremendous help as you undertake the journey of integrating spirituality into all aspects of your life.

What changes will help with this integration?
  • Recognize that all life events have meaning. There is a lesson to be learned or an opportunity for growth in every experience.
  • Take responsibility for your life. Don't blame other people or circumstances for where you find yourself in life.
  • Consciously pay attention to your thoughts. Eliminate those thoughts that are self-limiting or negative, and replace them with positive, affirming thoughts.
  • Recognize that you have the ultimate freedom to create the life you want: the freedom to choose your thoughts. You can change your life by changing your thinking.
  • Take responsibility for what you put into your mind. Don't fill your mind with negative images of how hopeless the world situation is. The newspaper and TV news don't give an unbiased picture of the world. They often focus on how bad things are because that is what sells. Choose to read and watch accounts of situations in which people extend love and help to each other or otherwise make positive contributions to the world. Listen to affirming tapes while driving or exercising, and have positive reading material handy for times you find yourself waiting for someone or something.
  • Allow every interaction with other people to be an opportunity to extend thoughts of blessing, recognizing that everyone is a spiritual being having a human experience. This includes difficult co-workers and rude drivers, as well as friends.
  • Take care of old emotional baggage, getting counseling if necessary. Spiritual work does not replace the need for psychological healing and good skills in setting boundaries, communication, and problem solving.
  • Take a minute or two every hour to pray or meditate. Remind yourself of the presence of Spirit in your life.
  • Choose an attitude of gratitude, appreciating all you already have. This will help to attract even more of your good to you.

Life is an amazing journey, and the more we integrate Spirit into every part of our lives, the more joyful and empowered we feel as we participate fully in "real life."

 Delisa Renideo, MA, is a counselor, spiritual mentor, and teacher at Dayspring Enrichment Center in Wasilla. Visit her website at www.godsmiles.com or call her at 907-373-3181.