Impossible as it seems -- life does goes on! We may not believe that we will survive, but we do. Eventually, we get over the relationship. Once we realize that life is different now, no longer wrapped around a person who is not there for us anymore, we begin to explore our options:

1. We could just end it all -- suicide.

Hit the delete button fast on this option! No one or no event in our lives is worth taking this choice. In truth, this is no option, for we would have to come back and finish the karma in another lifetime -- and it would probably be a very long time before we would be given that opportunity. All relationships are lessons to be learned. There are no accidents. People come into our lives for a purpose, and we are here to learn from them. When we do not complete that learning (just another relationship course in the school of planet earth), we will have to try again with that person or another person.

2. We could roll around in the muck of hate.

This is not a valid option either, for hate is extremely self-destructive. We would still feel dirty and used. Long-term resentment and hate is a core cause of cancer, for these feelings gradually eat us up, just as cancer eats up our good cells. Hate simply produces more karma. In relationships, we can often find another person who will hate us very quickly, and the spiral of karma continues. Is this what we really want?

3. We can take an extended trip to the city of Guilt.

Not good at all. On this trip, we usually rerun all the happenings in the relationship. Because we have predetermined that we are on our way to Guilt, we begin to see everything as our fault. We blame ourselves for all the challenges in the relationships and blow them out of proportion. We go through the "if only" syndrome, imagining how different things would be if only we had done it differently. Remember, it takes two people to make or break a relationship. Remember also that we are not responsible for how people react to what we do or say. (However, if we are growing in maturity, we will not purposely do or say something to hurt another person.) Actually, no one can hurt us unless we allow it. Consider this: "No one can get my goat, unless I tell them where it is tied." If someone "got our goat" we allowed it -- but we don't have to allow it again.

4. We can rewind the reel and then fast-forward the lesson for review.

This is necessary in order to learn from the relationship course we just ended. The past is over and cannot be changed. We have a bright future ahead, but in order to reach it, we have to move on, away from the past. During this review, we must note the good things about the relationship -- both the good things we did and the good things done by the other person. We can spend some time thinking about things we did that we could have done better. True, we do make mistakes sometimes, but that doesn't make us a bad person.

5. We can seek professional help.

If pulling negative relationships to ourselves seems to be a pattern, we may need to seek a good psychologist or therapist who can lead us into exploring our underlying insecurities. We may look back into childhood or young adult situations for clues as to why our relationships are challenging.

While I find that helping my clients understand why a relationship could not or should not last is important, I also recommend several things to release the other person:

1. RELEASE PRAYER

Write the following: "Thank you, God, that on this date I totally release (other person's name here) emotionally, with peace, love and forgiveness, for the highest good of all involved. And so it is!" Once you date this and sign your name, you can put it away or "send it to God" by placing it in a Bible, holy book or small box with "God Box" written on the top. As you do so, say, "God I am turning this over to You now; I will not worry anymore about this."

2. FORGIVENESS LIST

As part of releasing personal guilt, write on the top of a sheet of paper "I forgive myself for:" and list all of the things you feel you have done for which you feel guilty. On another sheet, write, "I forgive (individual's name here)" and list all of the things for which you feel you need to forgive the other person. These pages need to be destroyed, preferably by burning and destroying the ashes. Sometimes this ceremony has to be repeated daily until you feel that all is forgiven and released.

3. SCHEDULE A GET-TOGETHER

In some cases, closure may be needed. Sometimes this is necessary to finish karma. You may want to contact the other person by telephone or letter requesting (not begging) a short get-together to clear the air, so that both of you can go on with your lives. If the other person does not respond, you have closure, and you have completed your karma.

4. BURNING

If you never want to see or talk to the other person again, it may help to burn memorabilia, pictures, letters, dried flowers, or whatever you have that reminds you of that person. As you burn, repeat the release prayer. This is not witchcraft, just a symbolic gesture that you do not want the other person in your life anymore. Don't use this idea, however, unless you are serious about completely releasing the old to open up for a new better relationship.

When a relationship ends, it is vital to remember that life does go on. Every relationship carries a lesson. Will we learn from it and go on to more fulfilling experiences, or will we let it destroy our happiness and usefulness? We can move into higher levels of loving relationships. Release and forgive. Do not be afraid. The next reel does not have to be the same old movie!