One of my favorite sayings from the Course in Miracles is, "to heal is to make happy." I believe this to be true. Having been through many traumatic and miserable times in life, the pursuit of happiness – and healing – has become one of my quests.

Over the years, I have learned a lot about this elusive, fragile state of mind called happiness. For example, I have discovered that many of us confuse pleasure and happiness, when in fact they are very different things. Our quick-fix society promises us that happiness is just a pill away. If we use this product, we will be happy. If we just find the right mate, the right job, the perfect therapist and level of income, then we will live happily ever after. Most of us eventually realize that this quest is all an illusion.

Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to wise up and understand that happiness isn't simply a string of pleasure moments. For example, while the newness of falling in love may make us feel wonderfully happy, most of us soon discover that for love to last it needs to deepen and mellow, like a rich wine. Relationships require a good bit of caring and tending to last.

If we confuse happiness with pleasure, we may try to find happiness in a variety of addictions, love relationships or temporary gratifications. But as any addict will tell you, being high is temporary at best and when the high wears off, the low can be devastating.

Happiness has to come from the self. We all intuitively know this. Even if we become thin and rich, we may or may not be happy. Why? Because wealth, love relationships, body size and bank account are not about our deep, true, inner selves. Rather, they are dressings, coverings of who we think we are.

One of the best cures for unhappiness is to look carefully at the choices you do have – and start making them. The more you become aware of the choices life presents to you, the more choices life will offer you. When choices open up, an individual's whole life opens up. Sometimes, just making the choice to do something opens up possibilities you never saw before. Our limitations make us miserable because they take away our choice. Breaking through those limitations and choosing will always gladden us

Another thing that makes people happy is optimism. Developing the habit of optimism makes things possible. Since we live in a society that is often negative, we have developed some habits of negative thinking and talking. Sometimes, we must retrain our brains into the habit of optimism. Try talking positively for a full day. Choose not to say anything negative about yourself or others. "Look on the bright side" is often the best advice you can give someone. Why? It opens up possibilities which lead to new choices and, in the process, happiness happens.

Remember the old saying, "count your blessings and you will have more blessings to count." Gratitude is appreciation. It goes hand in hand with optimism. Appreciation is an amazing, marvelous thing, for we can literally banish depression with appreciation. To get in the habit of appreciation, start with things you love to look at, such as flowers, the mountains, or fine art. The more you appreciate, the more you notice what is present to appreciate! As the habit begins to develop, it becomes automatic. As you get happier, you appreciate more; as you appreciate more, you get happier.

Another quality that fits in well with choice, optimism and appreciation, is altruism. The best way to get out of our own misery is to help someone else. This means helping from the heart – not from a need to control or get something back. Altruism is often a very effective cure for hopelessness. Consider what occurred with the 9-11 event, when the city of New York, known for its cold indifference, changed so dramatically as people turned out in multitudes to help. Many times, even in the face of tragedy, as long as people can help they are happy.

A final contribution to your happiness can be found in your health. Many studies have proven over and again that, quite simply, healthy people are happy people. When you eat right and take care of yourself, your brain and nervous system are strong enough to handle any stressors before your endorphin production breaks down. Science has also proven that positive thinking creates endorphins, those feel-good, all-is-well chemicals that are produced in the brain. With good endorphin production, you will bounce back quicker from loss or stress. Further, releasing stress through bodywork, exercise or meditation always improves our state of mind.

With a commitment to happiness, you contribute to peace on earth. How so? The happier we are, the more we spread that happiness around, for happiness is contagious.

Remember that happiness doesn't just happen; it is something we create inside ourselves. And no matter what life dishes out, we can make up our own minds to develop and follow the habits of happiness.