The Wisdom to Know the Difference: When to Make a Change — And When to Let Go
Eileen Flanagan (Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2009; soft cover, $15.95)

A couple of years ago, after about 25 years of researching self-change modalities, as both a seeker and a journalist, I wrote an article about the necessity of interrupting the embedded neuronal patterns behind our self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs. In the introduction to the article, I referred to the power of the Zen master’s thwack, and the editor of the magazine that published the piece decided to use “Thwack” as the title, along with an illustration of a therapist about to throttle an unsuspecting man with a rolling pin. Although it made a snappy and commercial cover line, this title inadvertently portrayed as acceptable what I believe is most dangerous about the new confrontational methods of change and many of the groups that practice them. The trouble with thwacking is that if it’s done by anyone who is not a Zen master or an experienced healer, and if it is delivered without a sense of nuance, devoid of love and compassion, and if the thwack is dealt to a person who is not ready to receive it, it is brutality. And it can even re-traumatize a person rather than help.

It’s hard enough to know when to thwack ourselves, let alone another person. So Hip Hip Hooray to Eileen Flanagan for writing The Wisdom to Know the Difference. Using a combination of research, interviews, anecdotes, and all of the world’s wisdom traditions and religions, she actually makes clear the process of discerning when to accept and go with the flow, and when to challenge your own beliefs and behavior and make a change.

So how do you know when to accept and when to change? According to Flanagan it is a spiral process of steps. That is, they don’t necessarily happen neatly, in a sequence. But they are, first and foremost:

Know yourself. Get clear on what you believe. And further, determine where your beliefs come from. Are they inherited from your parents or conditioned cultural or religious assumptions? “People who think their behavior is ‘just normal’ may have an especially hard time acknowledging when their behavior isn’t working,” says Flanagan.

In a chapter called “Seeking Divine Wisdom,” Flanagan urges us to get in sync with the big flow. She quotes David Watt, an associate professor of history and adjunct professor of religion: “… a lot of one’s job is just to stay in one’s own lane. It’s a football metaphor. There’s a kickoff. Everyone has a lane they need to stay in, and in order for the kickoff to be covered successfully, you don’t go running around wildly. You just stay in your lane. So that means not trying to be responsible for everything, but just trying to be responsible for the cards you’ve been dealt.” Flanagan continues, “One way to see if you’re in your lane is to pay attention to the opportunities you’ve been given and see if they correspond to what your inner guidance is telling you.”

The chapter on Shifting Your Perspective is so rich I hesitate to reduce it to a quote or a blurb. But my favorite tip was from a former corporate executive who dealt with her fear of something new that felt overwhelming by breaking it down into the smallest, do-able steps. Since none of the steps were scary, what seemed impossible became manageable.

In addition, titles from the last three chapters outline helpful steps for us all: Practicing Loving Acceptance; Letting Go of Outcomes; Finding Wisdom in Community.

The Wisdom to Know the Difference is a book to contemplate. Like the process of discernment, it is not neat and cookie-cutter predictable. It is a book about getting along with other people as well as with ourselves. It’s a roadmap to dealing with uncertain times when jobs suddenly evaporate and the future may feel precarious. It is a very wise book about hearing our own wisdom in a messy and frequently deafening world. This book is the opposite of a “thwack.” It is a finely nuanced, gentle guidebook to clarity.

~ Review by Betsy Robinson

A Compromised Generation: The Epidemic of Chronic Illness in America’s Children
Beth Lambert, Victoria Kobliner (Sentient Publications, 2010; softcover, $18.95)

In her book, Beth Lambert (along with co-author Victoria Kobliner) puts forth an easy to understand, well-written explanation of the environmental factors involved in the current growing epidemics of autism, ADHD, asthma, allergies, obesity and diabetes, and how all children are being exposed to them. They also suggest strategies for prevention as well as thoughtful approaches to treatment. Lambert, a former healthcare consultant and teacher, is the executive director of PEACE: Parents Ending America’s Childhood Epidemic.

This book reveals how elements of American culture are making millions of children chronically ill, disabled, or dysfunctional. Last year we did a book review on Dr. Kenneth Bock’s Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders. This book is similar. It asks: What is happening to our children? Why is this growing epidemic of disorders, the medical profession doesn’t acknowledge or know how to treat, threatening all our children?

Despite the seriousness of this growing epidemic, it has not received any coverage on major networks such as CNN or ABC. And yet we desperately need public awareness so as to stop the epidemic and avoid compromising future generations.

The authors point out that in recent years there have been startling increases in the diagnoses of asthma (1 out of every 8 children), ADHD (1 in 10), celiac disease (1 in 80), food allergies (1 in 12), pediatric depression (1 in 30) and environmental allergies (an astonishing 1 in 3!). This represents a real, though mostly unacknowledged, epidemic.

The roots of the problem can be found in a number of factors: growing pollution, increasingly stressful culture and lifestyle, poor diet, pharmaceuticals and excess vaccinations. Many children have severe allergic reactions created by the medical preservatives used in the vaccines, and other pharmaceuticals, such as aluminum and thiomersal — a drug made from and containing mercury.

The book contains a lot of science and health discussion, as well as helpful references. It is worth considering when looking at your child’s health problems and when searching for the solutions to those problems. In many ways, I feel this book is a must read for all parents and grandparents, educators, and those who work with children.

~Review by Jackie Kosednar