Another year, another resolution: I will quit
smoking. I will lose weight. No more drinking! A month later - and
things are still the same. It is easy to feel discouraged and simply
give up trying to change. There has to be a better way - a way that
makes a difference. Let's look at what it takes to make permanent
changes by burrowing down to find and use your inner strengths.
1. To begin, set a clear goal of what you
want. Decide when you will implement your plan. Be specific. Mark
it on the calendar. Consider the steps you need to follow to make a
good beginning.
Cindy thought about quitting smoking for years
but never found the strength to follow through. She kept thinking how
smoking was killing her and how she really needed to make a change.
Her father had died of lung cancer in his early fifties - the same age
as Cindy. To make her goal specific, Cindy chose the next meeting date
of the support group she had signed up with to begin her first day of
no smoking. Cindy's friend had taken the class and had successfully
stopped smoking. Cindy had tried stopping smoking by herself before
but, not knowing how to deal with cravings, always started up again.
She had never tried a support group, but she felt that by sharing with
people who were also trying to quit, the group would help her better
deal with the temptation to smoke.
2. Take a realistic look at obstacles that
may thwart your way. Is your family supportive of your plan? Does
the stress level in your life allow you to make changes right now?
What can you do to compensate for obstacles that you foresee?
Lisa is a busy marketing designer. She has two
children, a husband, and little time to take care of herself. At the
age of 40, diagnosed with diabetes, Lisa finally decided to prioritize
her health. She made up her mind to follow a diet plan recommended by
her doctor. However, she planned to start this when her stress level
was lower and she had more time to focus on healthier meal planning.
Lisa talked to her husband and children about her diagnosis. As a
result, the whole family decided to work as a team and get healthier
together. Cindy's children and husband pitched in to help prepare
meals. They started collecting healthier recipes that everyone enjoyed
eating. The family also became more active by riding their bikes and
exploring new bike trails in the neighborhood.
3. Change your thinking patterns. Do you
focus on positive or negative aspects of making a change? Do you start
doubting your abilities at some point? When do you begin to doubt?
What are the thoughts that disrupt you from reaching your goals? How
can you shift your thinking to see something positive for yourself?
Mark decided to start counseling and work on
the depression that had plagued him for years. Shortly after making
that decision, however, he worried about the cost - and would it even
make a difference? Mark knew he had a tendency to focus on negative
thoughts, but this time he decided to suspend this line of thinking
and look at the positive aspects of his decision. He told himself that
he was important and deserved to feel better. He decided to give
counseling a chance.
4. Ask yourself: What is it that I truly
want? How important is that desire to you? What are the things you
are willing to give up to reach your goals? Be realistic; some goals
may not yield immediate results.
Bob began walking after ten years of a
sedentary lifestyle. He often felt tired, had multiple bodily aches
and little energy after work to participate in any activities. He had
held an office job for years and enjoyed watching television and
reading during his free time. He didn't really have an interest in
sports. However, Bob knew he needed to skip a few of his favorite
shows in order to find time to take better care of himself. Slowly at
first, Bob began to walk a mile several times a week. Each week he
challenges himself to walk five minutes longer than the week before.
This year can and will be a better year for you
- if you set your mind to it. Know what you want to accomplish. Set a
goal that is specific and a plan you feel comfortable with; this will
help you stay focused. Choose a date to start and be realistic as to
what you feel you can accomplish. Be aware of any obstacles that may
challenge you and formulate a plan to deal with possible problems. Ask
for support when you need it. Before starting your plan, you may want
to coach your friends or support group on what to do and how to be
helpful if you end up struggling. Sometimes you may just want to vent;
other times you may need your support group to be firm with you and
encourage you to stay on track.
Most of all, stay positive - you can become
your very best cheerleader. Remind yourself that you are capable of
changing and you have what it takes. At the same time, be aware of
getting mired in negative thoughts - these often simply create more
negativity and it is easy to pull yourself down. Tell yourself to stop
when you notice yourself getting negative. Instead, remind yourself of
all the good reasons you have to change. Tell yourself that you are
worth it - because you are. With that type of thinking and planning,
good results are on your way!
Sirpa Gorman is a Licensed
Professional Counselor. She has a private practice in Eagle River and
can be reached at 720-1878 and www.alaskatherapy.com.
