To get punishment out of the way, I can say that punishment is part of a control dynamic. Control dynamics are merely lists of things I want you to do backed up by a reward/punishment system. For example, if I'm your boss, I may give you a job description or list of your duties. I pay you if you do your job and fire you if you don't. Or, say I want to lose weight. I put myself on a diet (a list of acceptable foods to eat) and reward myself when I drop a pound or two, or I beat myself up if I don't. Control dynamics are actually quite useful, and healthy types of control dynamics are found in every segment of society. Unhealthy forms of control usually boil down to the type of punishment used to coerce one into the control "contract." A common example of this is in the arena of domestic violence and sexual assault. The contract here is a "right to abuse" contract. The abuser needs the victim to sign this contract to insure the abuser's safety.

Empowerment is the alternative -- and sometimes the companion -- to control. With children, for example, a parent or teacher will set up the context (a list of OK and not-OK behaviors, usually), then engage in empowerment strategies within that controlled context. Classroom management techniques are the normal context here, and creative teaching practices that engage mind and body would be the empowerment techniques. These empowerment strategies enable the child to get in touch with his or her own choices, creativity, problem-solving potentials, and so on. Empowerment throws the burden of life back onto the person who is living that life with a statement that says, "I know you can do this. I know you can be successful at living your own life. I know you can succeed. Not only that, I will aid you in decoding the messages from the many mistakes you will make, so that you can learn the lessons that will make you successful."

Discipline is the next level of this progression. First, there are controls to create safety. Then there is empowerment to activate one's potentials. Then there is discipline to bring those potentials to full bloom. Using the above classroom, which has clear rules for OK and not-OK behavior (the control mechanism) and teachers who can empower the students (the empowerment mechanism), the next level is discipline (actually self-discipline). The student begins to develop his or her own goals within the available educational contexts. Then, the student achieves those goals mostly on his or her own.

A discipline is really a "follow me" or a "do as I have done and you will become greater than I" agenda. You choose a path to self-betterment and follow the instructions of those who have more experience with that path. As you get further down that path, newcomers ask your advice; by teaching them, you more deeply incorporate the teachings of the path. Finally, when you arrive at some high level of competency, you discover that all paths have led to the same place. That place is a duality: you fully honor and work with your ego-self, and you fully honor and work with your spiritual self. In essence, you walk in two worlds and are effective in both.

The journey, then, to just getting on the path, to getting to "discipline," is a rather long one. As a society, we entrust much of that journey to the institution of education. We expect teachers to create controls for safe learning environments. We also expect teachers to empower our kids. Yet, that doesn't always happen.

My latest discontent with the educational system is the use of suspensions for punishment. They are, in my mind, flat-out stupid. The only reason I can see at all for suspending a child is if that child poses a threat to others. In all other cases, suspension is a punishment that does not fit the crime. Suspension is not a natural consequence to whatever behavior is being addressed -- be it harassment, witnessing a fight, or drug usage. Natural consequences for these behaviors could teach valuable lessons about a myriad of things, and it is in learning the lessons from our mistakes that we become trustworthy adults.

As a society, we've been sold the value of natural consequences for decades. It's taught in virtually all parenting classes. It's taught in all 12-Step programs (an alcoholic "bottom" is a function of the natural consequences of alcohol abuse). So, what happened to natural consequences in the school system? How was this major insight about child rearing missed?

All schools have guidelines regarding suspension and expulsion. In the situations listed above, suspension may be used, though parental conferences are required. I believe these required conference times might best be used to develop a natural consequence for the offense, rather than simply suspending the student. For example, harassment: do a project on the effects or damage of harassment; watching violence: do a research project on the effects of witnessed violence; drug usage: organize a speaker's panel of recovering addicts to tell their stories.

We all learn best from role modeling. We learn best when a teacher comes from the heart. We learn best when we engage right and left brains. We also learn best when we can benefit from our mistakes. The current rash of zero tolerance and over-reactive punishment strategies exhibited by the school system violates all these rules for learning.