...We were out-patients now. The kids and I walked over to the Hematology Clinic in the hospital several times a week for blood tests and chemotherapy. Toby would still have to go to the hospital for the high-dose drugs that couldn't be given in the clinic, but from now on the Hematology Clinic would monitor Toby's treatment.

All the hematology doctors and nurses were terrific and very loving towards us. Toby especially liked one of the nurses named Moe. Her love for the kids was very real, and Moe was known to have cried with parents a few times. In so many ways a nurse or other medical staff member like Moe made everything easier for the kids. I called them angels in disguise.

I prayed continuously for God to guide Toby's healing through the doctors' hands and minds, to work through them to heal the leukemia and all cancer everywhere. I prayed for researchers to find the cure for cancer. God was omnipotent and omniscient. So many people had prayed for the cure for cancer. I knew God had already given the world a cure; we just had to discover it.

I prayed the doctors would learn what to do with this thing called cancer that seemed to be bigger than all of us. Soon they would know what caused it and be able to prevent it. Soon there would be a breakthrough and science would find a cure so the kids wouldn't have to go through this. Cancer would disappear from the face of the earth.

Maybe Toby could help. After all, he was part of the research protocol. It was comforting to think that maybe what we were going through wasn't all in vain if it would help future generations to be free of cancer.

One month's stay in Seattle turned into two and our incomplete family became a "household" at the Ronald McDonald House. By now, I was crocheting my second afghan and had read countless novels. I didn't like television and the kids were pretty tired of it after watching so much in the hospital. We spent a lot of our free time socializing with other families at the house. The kids spent long hours playing. It was nice to watch a group of kids, all different ages, playing so peacefully together. There was rarely a disagreement to settle.

Toby made friends with a girl named Amy, who was about his age. Amy's cancer was rare in children. In Toby's eyes, she was great. Amy didn't have any hair either and, besides, she was famous. She had lit the White House Christmas tree with the President and had been on the national news. I liked Amy too. She had a sense of strength and dignity.

I started to notice that so many of the cancer kids seemed to have an innate maturity and wisdom that a lot of adults never achieved. One of the doctors told us, "It's always the good ones who get cancer."

One day while looking into Amy's eyes, I felt the magnitude of her presence. I realized what an old, wise soul she was. A shiver went through me, as I suddenly knew that Amy might not be on this earth for a long time, but while she was here she would profoundly touch a lot of lives.

I tried to shake thoughts like that and push them from my mind. It was hard though, looking at Amy. If my friend Sass was right and we all had lessons to learn from this situation, then the cancer kids were our teachers. I realized I could learn a lot from them.

What of Toby? I thought. Is his time here limited? How much of this is pre-ordained? Sadness and fear washed over me. Tears came into my eyes. I tried to imagine Toby all grown up, but no picture would come. I realized that I had never thought of Toby grown up. I sensed future pictures for my other children, but not for Toby. I could see him as a teenager, maybe, but that was it. Pushing the fear out of my mind, I decided to spend some time visualizing Toby all grown up.

Toby developed another friendship with a boy named Rick Leeper. The Leepers were also from Alaska. Rick, who was in his first year of high school, had the same diagnosis as Toby. The Leepers had been at the Ronnie House for a few months longer than we had. Friendly and out-going like most Alaskans, the Leepers took us under their wing and taught us the ropes.

Rick was a hero to many of the little kids. He hated doctors and needles, and refused to wear a Hickman line. He took the needles by choice. Rick was a teenage rebel, and we all admired his urge for life. Toby really liked Rick and told me one day that Rick knew how to use his mind too, that he could make his counts go up fast. Rick didn't let the needles hurt either, Toby said.

I'd read about biofeedback and using the mind and positive suggestion to control bodily functions such as blood pressure. I wasn't sure how it was done, but I told Toby he could help his blood counts come up by concentrating on them and telling his body to produce more platelets or white blood cells.

Toby was already using his mind to control the pain of the needles. He liked the idea of making his counts come up and felt confident it would work. I didn't pursue the idea because I didn't know how to do it. We just talked about it and visualized his bone marrow making happy cells.

Some families, like the Leepers, had all their children staying at the Ronnie House. In times like this, I knew it was better for the whole family to stay together. Abandonment issues only compounded the trauma to the family. Many siblings became confused and felt abandoned if they were left home; in fact, some developed behavior problems if they were kept away from what was happening to their family. Besides, the cancer child certainly felt safer with his or her whole family nearby.

I noticed that mostly siblings played with other siblings while cancer kids played with each other. Age didn't seem to make much difference when it came to who was going to play with whom. Toby would just as easily play Cabbage Patch dolls with Amy as fooze ball with Rick, depending on who was available.

Toby never wanted to go to the hospital for anything, including the playroom. He said the hospital smelled; that was his excuse. He became quite adamant about it. Every time we had to go to the clinic, Toby would point out the smell to me. Hospitals smelled rotten, he said. He even held his nose as a public display of how bad the place was. Until he got tired of holding it, of course.

I knew that Toby was developing issues about doctors and hospitals, but I couldn't really blame him. He had been through a lot of medical trauma and pain. I tried to tell him it wasn't the doctors' fault, but he wasn't very receptive. I knew Toby didn't share my admiration for them. Basically, he didn't trust any doctor. He was convinced that their only purpose in life was to torture him and that they enjoyed their torture.

I finally gave up trying to change Toby's mind. He had a right to believe anything he wanted. All I cared about was getting the kid healed. I knew that the doctors were dedicated to the children and only wanted the best for them. Surely Toby would change his mind after they healed his leukemia.

From my experiences with Toby, the failure of medical treatment and God's blessing of holistic health, Alaska Wellness Magazine and the Healing Toby Network were born. Proceeds from the sale of this book go to help children receive holistic health care, including treatments, products, services and information.

Fourteen years ago, I was given a vision of the holistic/alternative health movement (that is, healing based on treating the whole person -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually). I was shown that natural healing would become the new health care system for the 21st century. Since that time, I have watched the holistic health movement grow immensely. There is literally an army of body workers, all over the world, coming forth to help people who believe they can be helped. New holistic therapies are developing at such a rapid rate that there is literally nothing that can't be healed in a respectful, non-invasive natural way. Mainstream medicine is dying to a whole new way of healing. The general public seeks alternative medical doctors because we want more options in health care not just drugs or surgery. Consumer demand is bringing in this health care system in a magnificent way. It is a beautiful thing!

I have witnessed holistic healing as a powerful way to alleviate the suffering of children, to heal and treat their physical conditions and to keep them well. Drugs are always toxic, out of harmony with nature, and full of negative side effects. Invasive medical procedures, unnecessary testing and medical trauma are detrimental to healing and should be eliminated as much as it can be.

The Healing Toby Network is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping children and families receive holistic health care. The Network is focused especially on families of children who are chronically or terminally ill - helping them develop natural healing protocols as an adjunct to medical treatment. In the case of children whom medical technology has given up on, we offer new hope for healing and life.

You can help! You may want to buy One Miracle After Another and read more of Toby's story. Proceeds from the book go to helping children. If you know a family or child in need, please tell them about us. If you would like to participate in helping to heal children, you can donate tax-deductible monetary gifts, health products, or services. Please send donations to 926 W. 20th Ave., Anchorage AK 99503-1713, or call the Wellness Office for more information (907) 277-4775. Please also see our web site www.healingtoby.com and pass it on to those who may be interested. Thank you!

If you are a health practitioner, you can donate your skills, talents and abilities to work on sick children and their parents. We are also collecting a referral roster of health practitioners who will work at reduced rates. Please let us know if you can contribute in this way. If you would like to donate something else, please let us know. Thanks for reading "One Miracle After Another, Toby's Story."