I have recently met quite a few people who claim to be walking a spiritual path and yet don't know what that means. The other day I was counseling one of my students on the phone. She was complaining about how bad her life was. Recognizing the familiar cry of "me-me-me," I suggested that maybe this was an opportunity to practice her spirituality and face her selfishness. The voice on the other end fell silent. Her words "What selfishness? I'm not selfish?" hung empty in the air between us.

Selfishness is the most common character defect there is. We all have to work on it. I had been working on my own selfishness; that's why I could spot it so readily in my student. The way out of selfishness is to become self-less, by becoming more conscious of others than you are of yourself. It is simple. Instead of thinking about yourself, think about or help someone else. When we are totally wrapped up in ourselves we can't see others, but service to others will always cure selfishness.

Enlightenment is not how much spiritual information you can spout, how many of the secret teachings you have read, degrees you have attained, seminars you have attended or how long you have been in Bible study. Enlightenment is about what kind of a person you are, how much compassion and wisdom you have developed, and how honorable you are. How quickly we forget the honorable part! But without honor, how can you have any self-esteem or be walking a true spiritual path? The walk is in the practice and there is no enlightenment without tons of practice.

The goal of a spiritual practice is to make spirituality and truth a part of your being so you cannot forget to be honest. Reading spiritual information or studying the Bible may give you lots of spiritual thrill. (Indeed, that's the way we can get addicted to it.) For that information to integrate into your life, however, spirituality has to be lived and practiced day by day in all situations. The more difficult the person or situation, the greater the gains from the practice.

What is a spiritual practice?
The 10 commandments in the Bible are spiritual practices. The Alcoholics Anonymous principles are spiritual practices. Meditation and prayer are spiritual practices. Any practice that leads you to become a more honorable, loving, peaceful and wise person is a spiritual practice. To be close to God, you have to be like God.

Spiritual practices are necessary for enlightenment as well as direction through the dark night of your soul or the narrow, mountainous turns of your path. Spiritual practice grounds spirituality into your life and accelerates your growth into higher consciousness.

To try it, take one practice such as: "Today, I will tell the truth in all situations, at all times, to all people." Do you think it would be easy to practice this? Or do you feel a little shame just thinking about it? Many people run from such exercises since it reminds them of all the recent lies they have told. Fear, shame and denial are enemies of the spiritual path.

I recently experimented with dropping the word "sin" into my conversations with people. I soon noticed a predictable occurrence. On saying the word sin, many times I saw people physically squirm and shrink proportionately to how much sin they believed they are carrying. Automatically we hide from punishment or any exposure that makes us feel the shame we carry. The more unholy a person feels, the more they will attack holiness. Why do you think Jesus got crucified?

The word sin is really quite harmless. It simply means we have made mistakes that have harmed ourselves, others or our planet. We have all made mistakes; the temptation to be dishonest is everywhere. The growth comes in learning from our sins.

When we are made aware of our denied guilt and shame, our reaction is to attack, hide and/or punish ourselves. Fear of retribution is a large unconscious fear we all carry. Something inside of us keeps score of every transgression. We may consciously be in denial about our unloving thoughts and actions, but the body doesn't lie. Disease is the result of the lies and illusions we believe. Denial is probably the biggest challenge to the spiritual path. We can exalt ourselves to be above sin even while we are doing it. The commitment to spiritual life involves taking regular, fearless moral inventories and making amends wherever we can.

We will fail many times in our spiritual practice. Unfortunately, being humbled is the fastest way to humility. This is also the way we develop spiritual discipline. We will be fooled by the mass hypnosis of our culture, created by the media that promises "whoever has the most toys wins." At times we may find ourselves striving with no seeming purpose to our striving. This is called struggle.

On the spiritual path, success is measured in a different way. When spirituality dominates our life, we measure success by the accumulation of integrity, love and wisdom, not the accumulation of things. We also tend to forget our truth in the face of so much daily temptation. There is no need to self-punish. Just keep practicing and observe yourself. You might remember, too, that the more righteous you feel, the less you probably are.

As a serious student of the spiritual path, you may want to go over to the other side of the polarity and forgive every enemy. Make sure your ethics are in line, however, and that you are completely honorable. You could also practice doing "random acts of kindness". Dedicate your life to doing as much good as you can whenever you can and turn your spiritual path into a highway.