A rite of passage is marked by three phases: preparation, the journey and return.

The Preparation:

Childbirth classes are most often the rituals that begin to prepare and initiate new mothers in our culture. While some classes can be empowering, others leave women feeling bereft. It is unfortunate that so many childbirth methods and educators teach as if they are the "knowers" while mothers are "empty," needing to be filled with their knowledge. While it's important for women in our culture to have the knowledge to navigate through the technology-laden territory that can accompany birth, what is often missing from these rituals of preparation is the spiritual component that women need to birth in awareness. To not recognize this is to deny the sacredness of the journey and, therefore, forfeit the profound impact birth has on a woman's psyche.

Every woman who is about to give birth has deep questions about her strength, her ability to endure, how she will mother and how she will love. Every woman's question is essentially the same, though uniquely applied to her own life and circumstance. Uncovering and living that question is an integral part of the preparation phase of a rite of passage, as is connecting with other women and mothers, learning more about one's own history, exploring beliefs about birth, pain, and mothering, and uncovering hidden resources for coping with the unknown.

The Journey:

All rites of passage involve a descent. Taking the descent in awareness peels back layers of the self. The descent shapes, molds and stretches the woman to be re-born as a something new. It's the journey that transforms the maiden into the mother (or the mother of "one" to the mother of "many", redefining her capacity to love). It initiates her on a body level of knowing something she did not know before.

The Return:

The journey has transformed the woman. She is not who she thought she was. The return takes much longer for most women than the medically allotted time for post-partum recovery. Often, it can take years. When a woman makes the return, she comes to realize how profoundly she was changed. Her status is different. She gains a new level of respect and responsibility. She has participated in something that has changed her and how people will relate to her. She has gained wisdom that only a mother can have. This wisdom is born out of pain and opens her heart in compassion.

But to make the return, the woman must now recognize and honor her newfound wisdom. She has learned what really matters.