Having been in the world of alternative healing and psychology for the last 20 years, I'm amazed at a new method called "Family Constellation," created and developed by Bert Hellinger, a renown psychoanalyst, psychotherapist and best-selling author in Germany.

What touches me most is the effectiveness and the mystery that surrounds this method, as well as the profound changes that occur for the participants.

What Is Family Constellation?

This method allows the family of the participant to come into harmony by setting the family into a constellation and then bringing that constellation into order. The facilitator sets up different people who will represent, for example, the mother, father, and siblings of the participant in different positions that mirror the type of dynamic that is played out in the family unit. Usually, there is a lack of order and the family is out of balance.

The therapist moves the participants until the constellation finds its natural order. All the while the therapist does this, the participant watches how the process develops. The individuals that play out the roles feel the same feelings the participant felt while living in the family. By the family physically moving to harmony, the individual can now leave the nest, feeling the power of the family behind him or her.

Only when the connection to the family is recognized and responsibilities cleared and divided equally does the individual feel unburdened. The individual can now move forward without burden or ties of the past.

How Does It Work?

Hellinger's work with constellations has shown that a family is a system or energy-field in which certain orders are at work. Though there are exceptions, it is clear that certain laws are repeated in families over and over. When looked at over many generations, one might compare a family to a mobile. If there is an imbalance at any point on the mobile, there is a reaction at a different place to compensate. Children are the family members who are most affected by this compensatory reaction. They take over stray energies in the family so that the system as a whole regains order.

Everything that is suppressed by a family does not dissolve into thin air, but rather "floats" within the system. This includes feelings that are not expressed, members of the family who are unjustly shut out, and guilt. The newer family members (most usually children) feel this energy, receive it and relive it or act it out. They are "entangled" by their ancestors by taking over these old behaviors, feelings and fates.

For example, a death in a family causes pain and sadness to all members. These feelings are sometimes so strong that it seems they cannot be overcome. If a family member dies young, a particularly lasting effect can burden the entire family.

Monica's Story

For illustration purposes, consider the case of Monica who had been suffering from bouts of depression to the point that she pondered suicide. Her depression seemed to spread to other family members and her 10-year-old daughter began to suffer the same feelings. When asked if someone in her family had died young, Monica confirmed that when she was 3 years old, her 5-year-old brother died in an accident.

When someone dies before the age of 25 or so, the death has far-reaching, penetrating consequences for all family members. In particular, the death has an immediate impact on surviving siblings. Feelings of guilt may arise because they live on, while the brother or sister had to die. Deep inside, the siblings feel that it is unjust for them to live. From such feelings spring an inclination towards death. Often, the siblings want to be where the departed brother or sister went, best expressed by the statement, "I will follow you." This type of statement expresses an unconscious movement towards death.

When observed from outside the family unit, we see that the effects of death vary on the remaining siblings. One sibling may acquire a disease at a young age as the will to live is weakened and the body reacts by getting sick. Others may reach toward death by taking a path towards drugs and excess. Still others may act out this death inclination by engaging in high-risk sports. Every early death leaves deep emotional wounds in the family. In Monica, the inclination towards death revealed itself through depression and thoughts of suicide.

When Monica's brother (keep in mind that this is the representative of the family member) took his place by Monica's side in constellation therapy, Monica was at first afraid of him. The dead brother had no feeling for the little sister at his side. An important first step came when Monica stood before her brother, overcame her fear and looked at him. She then bowed to him and gave him her attention. She said to her brother, "You are my older brother and died young. I honor you and your death. Be happy for me, your little sister, if I live on."

The big brother then looked at his littler sister in a more friendly way. Monica began to have less fear of her brother and began to feel lovingly connected to him. The tremendous burden that had been pulling her towards death suddenly changed into a positive force.

Resolving Entanglements

Entanglements can only be resolved when a loving bond exists as a base -- not when anger and disdain are the base. That which we try to rid ourselves of in anger comes back to us through the back door. Anger works like a rubber band -- with a lot of energy. We can hold a feeling or behavior away from love for a certain amount of time. However, when we ease up and relax, it springs back.

The love that binds a child to his or her family is immense. A child would not hesitate to give his or her life if that were required from the family. This is why the child shares the fate of the family members and helps to carry their pain.

There is a great deal more to Family Constellation therapy, but the essence of the work is best summed up by the words of Bert Hellinger himself: "What happens through love and is maintained by love can only be dismantled through love."