Let's face it: the human experience is basically imperfect. Much depression is caused because we can't get it ideal or even close. Even though it seems like we should -- we just can't get it right. It never occurs to us that maybe we're not supposed to. It's okay to be imperfect. This common misperception of life can cause great unhappiness.

The human experience can be a bumpy road, colored with struggle and strife. Think of anyone you know. Notice that they all have faults? Heroes, of course, are never allowed to have faults; that's why when they fall off their pedestal everyone is painfully disappointed.

If you are in love (or in denial), you might believe that someone is perfect. But all too soon that state wears off and the character defects materialize. This is guaranteed to happen in the romance department. That's why our divorce rate is so high.

People are not perfect. To be human is to err. This means we all make mistakes. In fact, we cannot avoid making mistakes. And that's a good thing, for mistakes are the best way for humans to learn. Life is a problem-solving game and nothing creates problems to solve quicker than mistakes. As soon as you solve a problem, a new one is willing to jump up and take its place.

As we mature, we gain problem-solving skills. Perhaps that's why life appears to get easier as we age. More skill equals fewer mistakes. But no matter how you look at it, a problem is right around the corner. You don't even need to make mistakes to create them. Many times they just appear.

The only constant in life is change. Whether that change will bring blessings or adversities is the unknown fear. At times, even blessings can cause a new set of problems.

Any way you look at it, problems and character defects challenge the spiritual being who is having a human experience. In spiritual reality, everyone is perfect. This may be why we have an inherent expectation that life is supposed to be perfect. Deep within, we also harbor the inner expectation that we are supposed to be perfect. One of the deep wrinkles within the human game - physical reality - is that most of us are born with a number of character defects. You might look at a character defect as wild cards you were dealt. These wild cards are designed to help you have unique problems to solve and, thus, gain the skills you need.

Common character defects can include arrogance, greed, selfishness, meanness, stinginess, disloyalty, gluttony, righteousness and perfectionism. When taken to the extreme, these defects can make you and everyone around you crazy -- and that's a problem. Walking a spiritual path means we keep trying to be a better and finer human being. We develop our capacity to love and serve, in spite of our character defects.

I often counsel clients going into new relationships to really look for their potential partner's character defects and then decide whether they can live with those defects or not. If the answer is no, don't get involved. Nature makes love blind so that we won't see the character defects in the beloved. When people are on their best behavior, they hide their character defects for obvious reasons. So look before you leap. Contrary to popular belief, it is impossible to change anyone's behavior. Think how hard it is to change your own behavior!

If we are happy, functional human beings, we have our character defects under control as we work on them. Because we are aware of our defects, they are not creating huge problems in life. Self-love is about accepting yourself the way you are. Self-love means loving yourself in spite of your faults, understanding that it is okay to have these character flaws. How could you not have faults and still be human? The practice of unconditional love allows your partner to be human too and gives you the capacity to love that individual even if you don't like his or her behavior.

In order to have a happy human experience, it is imperative that you decide character defects are okay, that making mistakes is mandatory in this game and that it can be enjoyable to solve problems. If you try not to have any problems, you will probably have active addictions, for you will need a good addiction to be able to ignore the mistakes and problems.

Confronting our problems takes courage. But since we are really Divine Beings, when we choose to face our problems and decide to solve them, the universe jumps in and helps. Many times problems will solve themselves. When we avoid them, however, they accumulate like unwanted pests and reproduce layers of new problems that not solving the old ones caused. The only way to win and stay sane is to confront the challenge and move through it: solve the problem. This way, you gain skill and feel good about yourself for being successful.

It pays to cultivate a love and skill of problem solving. Why? It leads you straight to success. It also pays to be kind to yourself and all the imperfect humans you love so much.