Remember when your grandmother took an hour to cook a meal? Now you go crazy waiting for a microwave dish to finish cooking. For a child, a month is a very long time and birthdays seem far apart. As we age, birthdays seem to come sooner. Time can be experienced in such astoundingly different ways that we might wonder: What is the reality about the phenomenon of time?

Depending on our perception, some experiences seem to take much too long while others seem too short. Richard Bandler, the co-originator of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, found that this perception of time has profound effects on our emotional states. In a number of studies, Bandler found that the experience of depression goes along with an unconscious focus of attention on negative past experiences. These are represented with a distortion of time, most often experienced like a slow motion movie. In an experiment, clients were directed to “speed up” those inner pictures. Curiously, they reported one common result: during the speeding-up process they did not experience the feelings of depression. On the other hand, Bandler observed that an individual experiencing a “psychotic fit” goes through excruciating pain for about half a day. The individual comes out of the experience feeling completely exhausted, but thinking the episode was only about an hour in duration. When the internal movies were slowed down in these cases, most of the symptoms of a psychotic fit did not occur. The symptoms were found to be part of a speed distortion.

The ways we think and speak about time assume that it is something outside of us. We externalize time by verbalization, suggesting that there is something different than the present moment. Time becomes something one can organize, manage, control and quantify. Thus, the resulting language: "Where did the time go?” “I am wasting time.” “Time disappears.” “Let me save some time.” “What a long day."

A big portion of being unhappy or not reaching what we want has to do with the ways the brain distorts time. People who experience stress or unhappiness seem to codify time and speed in fixed and limited ways. Time is a hallucination. It is a byproduct of the way we code our thoughts.

How does our brain produce these hallucinations and time codes? How can we use the same process of distortion to prolong what we wish to enjoy more and shorten what we don't need to dwell on?

Distorting time intentionally

Milton Erickson, the father of hypnosis, successfully applied "The Milton Diet" for weight loss. Leading the client into a trance, Erickson instructed the unconscious mind to use eating utensils in an extended slow motion fashion. For example, it would take several hours for the client to eat soup for whenever she touched her spoon, the suggested time distortion kicked in. The client lost all the weight she wanted.

I had a client who couldn't motivate herself to go to work but was determined to do so. She had already used motivation strategies, such as transforming her procrastination behavior. She said she would feel motivated but still wasn't able to act it out at work. When she was at her desk she thought of her kids, looked around and dreamed, then got up to make some coffee.

I asked her: "What happens in terms of time? It seems like you have a lot of time." She said it wouldn't take her long to organize the file folders. It would also not take her long to make required phone calls or write letters.

This woman thought of time in pieces: there was a time for calling, a time of organizing the desk, etc. Focusing on the time of one task, however, makes work longer and takes more effort. After we discovered exactly how her mind represented time increments, I taught her how to think of time in a more workable way.

I had her picture the whole day as one chunk rather than many small and stacked pieces. Then she practiced to see her successful end result and link that back to the present. Going back to her work situation, she not only felt happier and more motivated but finally could complete her tasks. In one hour, this life issue was transformed!

What happens inside when we procrastinate or experience stress and anxiety? Our mind usually formulates two or more pictures of different time increments within the same space -- maybe on top of each other, stacked behind one another or lined up. Sometimes these images collapse or merge. The unconscious message to the brain is: All of these past and future events or tasks happen simultaneously. Of course, this creates a feeling of tension and being overwhelmed.

How can I consciously create a resourceful time program?

Try this time practice: Think about what is stressing you or what you want. (This might include getting housework done, completing a degree, overcoming a challenge, finishing a project, etc.). Project vivid pictures, voices and sensations into the future about achieving your outcome successfully. As you experience this with all of your senses there in the future, connect with your purpose. Then connect with the present moment. Realize all the time you do have between now and that future moment and start your next activity.

The purpose of working with the ways your brain codes time is to become more efficient and gain time for what you really want. A major focus is to become more flexible and access a variety of programs so you are freer and in control of your experiences and your life. And last but not least, it all prepares and leads back to the ability to be and stay in the moment.

Training your perception and thinking is just like working out at the gym; it takes time and practice. New neuro-pathways need building. Be patient and ask for assistance.