The movie was both sad and funny, and the woman began to notice that during the sad parts the dog moaned in a mournful way, and during the funny parts the dog made a yippy, howling sound, just as if laughing. This happened all the way through the film.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," said the woman to the old man after the movie ended. "Your dog really seemed to really enjoy the film."

The man nodded and said, "Yes, it is amazing. He hated the book."

There was once a snail who wanted to change his reputation for being so slow. So, he decided to get a fast car. He found a great one but before buying it, he asked the dealer to paint a big ‘S’ on the side of it.

When the dealer asked why, the snail replied, "'S' stands for snail. I want everyone who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Of course, the dealer agreed to have the car repainted for a small fee.

The snail got his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

A duck walks into a feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''

The clerk tells him, ''No, we don't have a market for it, so we don't carry it.''

The duck says, ''Okay'' and leaves.

The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''

Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''

The clerk says, ''I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I'll nail your feet to the floor.''

The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck walks in and asks, ''Got any nails?''

''No,'' comes the reply.