Did you ever agree to something, and then curse the day you were born
immediately after agreeing to said something? This happened to me in
September 2010, when I was offered a most unexpected role - the
creation in the Rocky Horror Show at Mad Myrna's. I hadn't seen the
movie version before I auditioned. I'm the type that gets parts first
and asks questions later. Once I got the part, however, I rented the
movie to see what Rocky was like. Turns out he was the complete
opposite of what I was at the time: skinny, white, young, with blonde
hair. I was 42 years old, 245 pounds, bald with high blood pressure
and sleep apnea. In other words, I had to get into a shape other than
oval in just six weeks!
I immediately got a membership at the Alaska
Club and made it my mission to make an appearance twice a day. This
was accomplished by going after I dropped off my daughter at church
school (I was a stay-at-home dad in the house!). Every day I also took
my three dogs for a walk around the block three times. My neighbor was
getting rid of a treadmill, so I wheeled it over to my garage. Three
times a day I would run while singing "The Sword of
Damocles". I also stopped eating after 10 p.m. and did 50 pushups
and sit-ups daily. I was notorious for snacking and eating late
because I worked at night as a comedian DJ. However, every time I
thought about taking a day off, I considered what I was going to look
like in golden underwear in front of hundreds of people.
The combination of the above exercises and new
eating habits helped me shed 30 pounds by opening night, and 20 more
throughout the five-week run at Myrna's. I wasn't skinny, but I was in
great shape. When it was all said and done, I was 210 pounds, with
normal blood pressure, and the sleep apnea disappeared. I'm now in the
Whale Fat Follies with Mr. Whitekeys and, because of the Rocky diet, I
can fit into every costume perfectly.
Sometimes change comes because it needs to
happen. For me, it all happened because I agreed to play a skinny
white kid. Life is interesting.
Kelly Lee Williams is a DJ and
emcee for Alaska Professional Entertainment (www.gowithape.com)
and hosts a comedy show every Sunday night @ 9pm at the S Lounge (720
Gambell).
